caffeinated drinks
학생이 쓴 원문
I very often see that teenagers drink caffeinated drinks in the street and stores.
I am one of those people who concerned about caffeninated drinks in adolescents.
I know the reason of their drinking.
They need to overcome sleeping when they should study at night.
The adult who want to earn money sell harmful drinks to them with low price.
Capitalism let us human conscience and values.
강사 첨삭
Hi, Ms. [이름]!
I think that is one effect of capitalism. They no longer value the wellness of their customers especially if they are selling food products. I understand them but I don\'t agree with their practices. With the high level of competition among sellers, I guess they are prompt to do such a thing.
See you in class.
Aki~
I very often see that teenagers drink caffeinated drinks in the street and stores.
>>> I often see teenagers drink caffeinated drinks on the street and in stores.
I am one of those people who concerned about caffeninated drinks in adolescents.
>>> I am one of those people who is concerned about caffeinated drinks in adolescents.
I know the reason of their drinking.
>>> I know the reason for their drinking.
They need to overcome sleeping when they should study at night.
>>> CORRECT!
The adult who want to earn money sell harmful drinks to them with low price.
>>> Adults who want to earn money sell harmful drinks to them at a low price
Capitalism let us human conscience and values.
>>> Capitalism lets us have human conscience and values.
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