Can gadgets replace traditional toys and games for children? Give your opinion.
학생이 쓴 원문
I think it\'s impossible to replace traditional toys witj gadgets. Of course, there are a lot of gadgets for playing games such as Nintendo and Playstation. However, I think it\'s too hard to use for children and require a lot of considerations. Also, these gadgets only use the keyborad and joy stick. It is the main reason why gadgets can\'t relpace toys. Toys for children are designed for improving their thinking or their delicate physical abilities. For example, fitting various form blocks require children grab the block and think which hole has equal form with the block.
강사 첨삭
Advance Happy Valentine\'s Day, Mary! You clearly expressed your opinion that traditional toys cannot be fully replaced by gadgets, and you supported it with logical reasons. I especially liked your example about shaped blocks because it clearly explains how physical toys help develop children’s thinking and motor skills. Your ideas are strong and well organized. To improve further, focus on spelling accuracy and more natural academic expressions. Overall, this was a thoughtful and well-explained response, great job!
-Teacher Wela
I think it\'s impossible to replace traditional toys witj gadgets.
>> I think it is impossible to replace traditional toys with gadgets.
Of course, there are a lot of gadgets for playing games such as Nintendo and Playstation.
>> Of course, there are many gadgets for playing games, such as Nintendo and PlayStation.
However, I think it\'s too hard to use for children and require a lot of considerations.
>> However, I think they are too difficult for children to use and require a lot of concentration.
Also, these gadgets only use the keyborad and joy stick.
Also, these gadgets only use the keyborad and joy stick.
>> Also, these gadgets only use a keyboard and a joystick.
It is the main reason why gadgets can\'t relpace toys.
>> This is the main reason why gadgets cannot replace toys.
Toys for children are designed for improving their thinking or their delicate physical abilities.
>> Toys for children are designed to improve their thinking skills and fine motor abilities.
For example, fitting various form blocks require children grab the block and think which hole has equal form with the block.
>> For example, fitting various shaped blocks requires children to grab a block and think about which hole has the same shape as the block.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.