Can playing sports make you a better person? How?
학생이 쓴 원문
Playing sports can make us a better person. Because we can learn a lot of lessons through sports. When we play team sports we can practice how to communicate with other person and how to make concessions for fair playing. Also we can learn how to control our mind. Because there\'re a lot of unexpected issues when we playing sports, we might feel panic, nervous and anger. Additionally, learning sports can make us positive attitude and more confident. Actually, when we work on daily, it\'s not common to hear compliments from someone. However, when we learn sports as a hobby, almost teachers really give a lot of compliments. Even if it\'s a commercial way of speaking, we feel good because we get compliments from our teachers and that\'s where we get confidence.
강사 첨삭
Well done! Your answer clearly explains how playing sports can help people grow both mentally and socially. You gave good examples of learning communication, emotional control, and confidence through sports, which made your opinion convincing. To improve, try to simplify some sentences and pay attention to small grammar mistakes, but overall your ideas are clear and well developed in one smooth paragraph. Keep it up!
-Teacher Wela
Because we can learn a lot of lessons through sports.
>> This is because we can learn many lessons through sports.
>> This is because we can learn many lessons through sports.
When we play team sports we can practice how to communicate with other person and how to make concessions for fair playing.
>> When we play team sports, we can practice how to communicate with others and how to make compromises for fair play.
>> When we play team sports, we can practice how to communicate with others and how to make compromises for fair play.
Also we can learn how to control our mind.
>> We can also learn how to control our minds.
Because there\'re a lot of unexpected issues when we playing sports, we might feel panic, nervous and anger.
>> Because there are many unexpected situations when we play sports, we might feel panic, nervousness, or anger.
>> Because there are many unexpected situations when we play sports, we might feel panic, nervousness, or anger.
Additionally, learning sports can make us positive attitude and more confident.
>> Additionally, learning sports can help us develop a positive attitude and become more confident.
>> Additionally, learning sports can help us develop a positive attitude and become more confident.
Actually, when we work on daily, it\'s not common to hear compliments from someone.
>> In daily life, it is not common to receive compliments from others.
>> In daily life, it is not common to receive compliments from others.
However, when we learn sports as a hobby, almost teachers really give a lot of compliments.
>> However, when we learn sports as a hobby, most teachers give a lot of compliments.
>> However, when we learn sports as a hobby, most teachers give a lot of compliments.
Even if it\'s a commercial way of speaking, we feel good because we get compliments from our teachers and that\'s where we get confidence.
>>Even if it is a commercial way of speaking, we still feel good because we receive compliments from our teachers, and that is where our confidence comes from.
>>Even if it is a commercial way of speaking, we still feel good because we receive compliments from our teachers, and that is where our confidence comes from.
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