Can you think of a war that you believe was justified ?
학생이 쓴 원문
The vast majority of wars are based on ‘greed’. Whilst they might claim to have other motives, if you look hard enough, you’ll usually find that greed was the real motive. Should ‘war’ ever be justified? I guess it really depends on what side you are on. There will always be justification in defending yourself and your country. There’s no question about that. Where justification is needed however is starting a war in the first place. We need to look very closely at the motives, and what alternatives could and should have been taken to prevent it. We are part of the international family of man. As in any family, there is a need for acceptance, understanding, and compassion. If we can learn to work together for the betterment of mankind, and to strive for a world free from poverty, where everyone can live a dignified existence, then wars might one day, be a thing of the past. World Peace is not an unreachable dream. It can be attained by giving not by taking.
강사 첨삭
An impressive composition from you Sir [이름]!
Your thoughts about the topics are really great.
I hope that the countries will have a give and take relationship.
It is much needed for us to prevent war.
People should not only think about themselves.
Thank you again for this essay.
You made me feel better. Talk to you soon.
Teacher Nina
The vast majority of wars are based on ‘greed’.
>> CORRECT
Whilst they might claim to have other motives, if you look hard enough, you’ll usually find that greed was the real motive.
>> CORRECT
Should ‘war’ ever be justified?
>> CORRECT
I guess it really depends on what side you are on.
>> CORRECT
There will always be justification in defending yourself and your country.
>> CORRECT
>> OR: Fighting for yourself and your country can always be justified.
There’s no question about that.
>> CORRECT
Where justification is needed however is starting a war in the first place.
>> CORRECT
We need to look very closely at the motives, and what alternatives could and should have been taken to prevent it.
>> CORRECT
>> OR: We need to look very closely at the motives, and what measures could and should have been done to prevent it.
We are part of the international family of man.
>> CORRECT
As in any family, there is a need for acceptance, understanding, and compassion.
>> CORRECT
If we can learn to work together for the betterment of mankind, and to strive for a world free from poverty, where everyone can live a dignified existence, then wars might one day, be a thing of the past.
>> CORRECT
World Peace is not an unreachable dream.
>> CORRECT
It can be attained by giving not by taking.
>> CORRECT
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.