Cell phones in the school
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hello Jenny!
You did such an excellent job on your homework! 👏 I can see that you worked hard to organize your ideas clearly, and your writing shows that you are learning how to explain your thoughts step by step. I really like how you gave three strong reasons why cell phones can be helpful in school. That shows great critical thinking! You also remembered to write a conclusion, which makes your work complete and well-structured.
Your sentences are clear and easy to understand, and I’m proud of how you used examples like searching for information, staying safe, and using dictionary apps. Those are very smart ideas! 🌸
For next time, you can try adding linking words like “also,” “in addition,” or “for example” more often. This will make your writing flow even smoother. But overall, you did an amazing job, and I’m so happy to see how much effort you put into this. Keep it up, Jenny, you’re becoming a wonderful writer!
~Teacher Cathy
I think cell phones are helpful in school.
>>CORRECT
OR>>I believe cell phones are useful in school.
First, they make studying easier because students can search for information quickly.
>>CORRECT
OR>>First, they make studying easier because students can quickly look up information.
If the teacher gives a difficult question, students can use their phones to find the answer and learn faster.
>>CORRECT
OR>>When teachers ask difficult questions, students can use their phones to find answers and understand more quickly.
Second, cell phones help students stay safe.
>>CORRECT
OR>>Second, cell phones help keep students safe.
If there is an emergency, students can call their parents or teachers right away.
>>CORRECT
OR>>In an emergency, students can immediately contact their parents or teachers.
Finally, cell phones can be used for studying English.
>>CORRECT
OR>>Finally, cell phones are great tools for learning English.
For example, students can use dictionary apps or watch English videos.
>>CORRECT
OR>>For example, students can use dictionary apps or watch English videos.
However, students must be careful not to use cell phones for games or social media in class.
>>CORRECT
OR>>However, students need to be careful not to spend class time on games or social media.
If they use them in the wrong way, cell phones can be harmful.
>>CORRECT
OR>>If used the wrong way, cell phones can become harmful.
In conclusion, cell phones are helpful in school when students use them
>>In conclusion, cell phones are helpful in school when students use them in the right way.
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