changing my hairdo~
학생이 쓴 원문
First of all, I was very delight hear your cheerful voice.~ and also I am glad to hear that you took a enough rest during holiday.~ Last friday, I told you if i went home early, i was going to change my hairdo. even though I went home at 5pm, I dicided to change my hair. So i had a perm. when changing ended, i dissapointed about my hairdo. my friend told me. "it fits well for you. it's ok. don't be sad.
Actually I cut my hair 3, Feburary. my hair being cut as short. when i change my hairdo first time. people asked me. "what happen?" did you remember? i mentioned about my hair. I cut my hair since i argued with my boyfreind. my boyfriend doesn't know it yet. because we didn't meet until now. After a month I am going to change my hairdo again as a straright short cut.
강사 첨삭
[이름],
I am pleased that you liked my voice that morning. ;) Actually, I was so happy that I was able to talk with you after a long weekend. Since I stayed at home, I got bored. On the other hand, I am thankful for the extra day off because I was able to take a rest. I remember what you told me about your hairdo. And I remember that event when you had it cut short as well. Ha! Ha!
I am wondering how you look like before and now. Well, your friends say it fits you. I guess they can tell if it really fits.
Thank you for this composition. I had a great time reading it. ^^
Have a nice day!
XOXO,
Jenny
Here are the corrections:
First of all, I was very delight hear your cheerful voice.~ and also I am glad to hear that you took a enough rest during holiday.
>>First of all, I was so much delighted to hear your cheerful voice and glad that you took enough rest during the holidays.
Last friday, I told you if i went home early, i was going to change my hairdo.
>>Last Friday, I told you, if I went home early I will have my hairdo changed.
even though I went home at 5pm, I dicided to change my hair.
>>Even if I went home at 5pm, though, I still decided to change my hair style.
So I had a perm.
>> Correct.
when changing ended, i dissapointed about my hairdo.
>>I got disappointed about how it turned out though.
my friend told me. "it fits well for you. it's ok. don't be sad.
>> My friend told me, “It fits you well do don’t be sad.”Actually I cut my hair 3, Feburary. my hair being cut as short.
>> Actually, I cut my hair short last February 3.
when i change my hairdo first time. people asked me. "what happen?"
>> When I changed my hair style the first time, people asked me, “What happened? “
did you remember? i mentioned about my hair.
>> Do you remember? I mentioned it to you before.
I cut my hair since i argued with my boyfreind. my boyfriend doesn't know it yet. because we didn't meet until now.
>> I had a haircut when I had an argument with my boyfriend. Until now, he doesn’t know it because we haven’t met yet.
After a month I am going to change my hairdo again as a straright short cut.
>> After a month, I plan to have my hair straightened or shorter again.
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