Chinese trip

2017-08-14 · 첨삭 강사 Lynn

학생이 쓴 원문

I visited China from first to 9th of august. I came back at home through urumqi, trupan, keimar, buerljin and so on. All the city which I had gone through in China are on Silk Road except buerljin. Especially I had many things to see in Trupan. Trupan means a hollow land as a Uighur language. The area is located below the sea level with the Dead Sea. The area is also famous a delicious fruit, grape and water melon, dried grape. Fruit is a delicious when the daily temperature range between day and night is very big. Also it is basin. The sun shone hot on the basin. When I was in Trupan, its day temperature records 37 degree. Despite of the hot wave, I was seeing around at Gochang Old Castle. I was affected by the heat at that time. And then I caught a cold. After that, I hardly ate anything. I was very tired during the Chinese trip. But I knew the important one thing. Around 100 B.C, the Han Dynasty sent a general Changgeon to explore the Silk Road for the first time.

강사 첨삭

Hi there [이름]!
Thank you for sharing with me your China trip. I can\'t wait to hear more about it on Wednesday. See you in class!
Take care!
~T. Lynn
I visited China from first to 9th of august.
>>
I visited China from the 1st to the 9th of August.
I came back at home through urumqi, trupan, keimar, buerljin and so on.
>>
I came back home through Urumqi, Trupan, Keimar, Buerljin and so on.
All the city which I had gone through in China are on Silk Road except buerljin.
>>
All the city which I had gone through in China are on Silk Road except Buerljin.
Especially I had many things to see in Trupan. Trupan means a hollow land as a Uighur language.
>>
I had many things to see specially in Trupan. Trupan means a hollow land in Uighur language.
The area is located below the sea level with the Dead Sea.
>>
correct!
The area is also famous a delicious fruit, grape and water melon, dried grape.
>>
The area is also famous for its delicious fruits like grapes, water melon and dried grapes.
Fruit is a delicious when the daily temperature range between day and night is very big. Also it is basin.
>>
Fruit is delicious when the daily temperature range between day and night is very big. Also, if it is a basin.
The sun shone hot on the basin.
>> correct!
When I was in Trupan, its day temperature records 37 degree.
>>
When I was in Trupan, its day time temperature record is 37 degrees.
Despite of the hot wave, I was seeing around at Gochang Old Castle.
>>
Despite the heat wave, I went sight- seeing around Gochang Old Castle.
I was affected by the heat at that time. And then I caught a cold.
>> correct!
After that, I hardly ate anything.
>> correct!
I was very tired during the Chinese trip.
>> I was very tired during my China trip.
But I knew the important one thing.
>> But I knew/learned one important thing.
Around 100 B.C, the Han Dynasty sent a general Changgeon to explore the Silk Road for the first time.
>>
Around 100 B.C, the Han Dynasty sent  General Changgeon to explore the Silk Road for the first time.

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