Coffee shop, Bank

2020-10-22 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

1. coffee shop Wow! I think l am a little nervous. You know. Because this is my first time talking about the coffee shop. There are so many coffee shops in Korea. But it\\\'s been a while since I haven\\\'t been to a street cafe. I was busy with work and parenting. My main coffee shop is Ediya on the first floor of the my company\\\'s building. The Ediya has a simple ordering desk and a place where 5 baristas make coffee. I usually buy take-out coffee after lunch. There are many people waiting to order coffee, so there is usually a waiting time of about 10 minutes. I buy a cup of coffee and walk the company\\\'s walking course with my colleagues for about 30 minutes. Overall, During lunch time, it feels like the company has become a big coffee shop. 2. Bank As soon as you enter the bank, you will see a machine that picks up a number ticket. There is also a desk where you can face and talk with tellers. Tellers are very kind and helpful. They provide high quality service about finance.

강사 첨삭

You did an awesome job [이름]! Please keep in mind all the corrections I made below. ^^
-Teacher Elise

Coffee shop

Wow! I think l am a little nervous. 
>> CORRECT

You know. Because this is my first time talking about the coffee shop. 
>> It\'s my first time talking about coffee shops. 

There are so many coffee shops in Korea. 
>> There are many of them in Korea. 

But it\\\'s been a while since I haven\\\'t been to a street cafe. 
>>Regardless, it\'s been a while since I\'ve been to a street café.

I was busy with work and parenting. 
>> CORRECT

My main coffee shop is Ediya on the first floor of the my company\\\'s building. 
>> The coffee shop that I go to the most is Ediya. It\'s on the first floor of my company\'s building. 

The Ediya has a simple ordering desk and a place where 5 baristas make coffee.
>>The Ediya has a simple ordering desk which has 5 baristas.

I usually buy take-out coffee after lunch. 
>>CORRECT

There are many people waiting to order coffee, so there is usually a waiting time of about 10 minutes. 
>>CORRECT

I buy a cup of coffee and walk the company\\\'s walking course with my colleagues for about 30 minutes. 
>> I buy a cup of coffee and walk on the company\'s walking course with my colleagues for about 30 minutes. 

Overall, During lunch time, it feels like the company has become a big coffee shop.
>> Overall, during lunch time, it feels like the company has become a big coffee shop. 

--

Bank

As soon as you enter the bank, you will see a machine that picks up a number ticket. 
>> CORRECT

There is also a desk where you can face and talk with tellers. 
>>CORRECT

Tellers are very kind and helpful. 
>>CORRECT

They provide high quality service about finance.
>>CORRECT

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