Common crime
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Hello Sir [이름],
A marvelous composition sir. As you know, our president is serious about his fight against illegal drugs, crime and corruption. I commend him for keeping the promise he made before the election. I hope though that everything is done legally and that he will continue doing this until the end of his term. Have a great day sir and I\'ll see you again on Friday.
Take care!
~T. Lynn
In general, five crime is robbery and murder, rape, theft, violence.
>>In general there are five crimes: robbery, murder, rape, theft and violence.
The police declared to fight against crime about 20 years ago.
>>correct!
But in terms of crime rate, sexual crime is common in our society.
>>correct!
Domestic violence is believed to be the most common, yet least reported crime in Korea.
>>correct!
In fact, sexual crime is the problem since ancient.
>>In fact, sexual crimes have been a problem since the ancient times.
Some say that Roman Empire destroyed because of promiscuous sex.
>>Some say that the Roman Empire was destroyed because of promiscuous sex.
But another say that if government inhibit sex so much, other crime rate is higher.
>>But others say that if the government inhibit sex so much then other crimes\' rate will be higher.
People don\'t know where the contact point is.
>>correct!
Netherlands admitted to legally clandestine prostitution to reduce the crime rate.
>>correct!
The Netherlands obtains the effectiveness of lower crime rate.
>>The Netherlands obtained an effective lower crime rate.
Isn\'t it except this way? This threaten to fall the age of materialism where money talks.
>>Isn\'t this an exception? This threatens the fall of the age of materialism where money talks.
Can money solve all problem? It is absolutely not.
>>Can money solve all problems? Absolutely not!
I think that there should be leave the human\'s self-purification.
>>I think that we should give time for human\'s self-purification.
That is because of believing the human.
>>That is because I still believe in human beings.
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