Compare movie theater, Describe Park, memoriable thing in the park

2020-10-20 · 첨삭 강사 Elise

학생이 쓴 원문

[Compare theater] I\'ll think about it. You know, There are two theaters near my house. Lotte Cinema in Suwon Station and Megabox in Suwon Terminal. Both are multiplex, the mega box is a bit old, but there are many discounts and the Lotte Cinema is newly built, so it is clean. I like the mega box more. It makes me more comfortable. Anyway,I can\'t go to the theater these days because epidemic. [Park] What I\'m talking about now is Suwoncheon Park that I most like. It\'s a 5 minute walk from my house.A shallow stream flows from Mt. Gwanggyo, and both sides are made into a park. When you leave our apartment complex, you can feel nature right away. The atmosphere is activity and lively. The air is fresh and you can see the breathtaking scenery. [memoriable thing ] Um, when I went on a picnic with my family in the park, my lunchbox was stolen. I\'ve been catching fish with my children for a while The lunch box was missing. We were so angry with hunger. That is what I remember most

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! This was a great essay although I need you to focus more on you sentence construction and usage of your punctuations marks. Keep an eye up with the usage of the tenses of the verbs, Keep up the good work. :)

-Teacher Elise

I\'ll think about it. 
>> CORRECT

You know, There are two theaters near my house.
>> You know, there are two theaters near my house. 

Lotte Cinema in Suwon Station and Megabox in Suwon Terminal.
>> We have Lotte Cinema in Suwon Station and Megabox in Suwon Terminal.

Both are multiplex, the mega box is a bit old, but there are many discounts and the Lotte Cinema is newly built, so it is clean. 
>> Both are multiplex. The mega box is a bit old but there are many discounts. The Lotte Cinema is newly built so clean. 

I like the mega box more. It makes me more comfortable. 
>> CORRECT

Anyway,I can\'t go to the theater these days because epidemic.
>> Anyway, I can\'t go to the theater these days because of the pandemic. 

What I\'m talking about now is Suwoncheon Park that I most like.
>> I like the Suwoncheon Park the most. 

It\'s a 5 minute walk from my house.
>> CORRECT

A shallow stream flows from Mt. Gwanggyo, and both sides are made into a park. 
>> CORRECT

When you leave our apartment complex, you can feel nature right away. 
>> CORRECT

The atmosphere is activety and lively. 
>>The atmosphere is active and lively

The air is fresh and you can see the breathtaking scenery.
>>CORRECT

Um, when I went on a picnic with my family in the park, my lunchbox was stolen.
>> When I went on a picnic with my family at the park, my lunchbox got stolen. 

I\'ve been catching fish with my children for a while. 
>>CORRECT

The lunch box was missing. We were so angry with hunger. That is what I remember most.
>>The lunchbox was missing. We were so angry because of hunger. Those are the things  I remember. 

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