Competition
학생이 쓴 원문
Human is social animal. Social animal means that many people have networking in social. Human being can't live alone and are forced to live together. If human begin to live together, all people can not equal. Some people have upper class and others have no choice but to stay in lower class. The natural resources in the world are limited. Human must be compete to gain the limited source and to rise the upper class. Competition brings to social development and technical development for expend of source. This is a good and positive result. But the result is not always positive. Competition sometimes brings to indulge in slander and scheming. Excessive competition is sometimes bring about murder and war. Because sources and upper class are limited. That is bad competition. Human do like competition or not, you can't help it. The most important problem is only human quality in competition.
강사 첨삭
Hi there [이름]!
I totally agree with you sir! Well said! Enjoy your Hong Kong trip. See you on Friday!
Take care!
~T. Lynn
Human is a social animal.
>> correct!
OR>> Human beings are social animals.
Social animal means that many people have networking in social.
>> Social animal means that many people have networking in society.
Human being can\'t live alone and are forced to live together.
>> correct!
If human begin to live together, all people can not equal.
>> If humans begin to live together, all people can not be equal.
Some people have upper class and others have no choice but to stay in lower class.
>>Some people belong to the upper class and others have no choice but to stay in the lower class.
The natural resources in the world are limited.
>> correct!
Human must be compete to gain the limited source and to rise the upper class.
>> Humans must compete to gain the limited source and to rise to the upper class.
Competition brings to social development and technical development for expend of source.
>> Competition brings social development and technical development for expansion of resources.
This is a good and positive result.
>> correct!
But the result is not always positive.
>> correct!
Competition sometimes brings to indulge in slander and scheming.
>> Competition sometimes brings indulgence in slander and scheming.
Excessive competition is sometimes bring about murder and war.
>> Excessive competition sometimes bring about murder and war.
Because sources and the upper class are limited.
>> correct!
That is bad competition.
>> correct!
Human do like competition or not, you can\'t help it.
>> Either humans like competition or not, you can\'t help it.
The most important problem is only human quality in competition.
>> The most important problem is the human quality in competition.
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