composition

2015-01-14 · 첨삭 강사 Paula

학생이 쓴 원문

Good evening, Paula! I like today's homework. I hand in it as follows. Have a nice evening. *Essay Here in Korea, football is one of the most popular sports in our country. These days, AFC Asian Cup is held in Australia now, and I am also enjoying watching the games with live TV. This Saturday, our team will have a game with Australia team. In this case, Australia team will take a home advantage, but I believe our team will win the game. Do you know Mr. [Name]? He is the most famous soccer player and the most promising person in this field. I am really proud of him. If our team wins the first prize, Mr. [Name] will not need to go to the army. It is very important for him to play a game really well. I hope our team can defeat all of teams at the Asian Cup football tournament. I am cheering the soccer team in my heart and expecting for this weekend to come.

강사 첨삭

Good morning, [이름]! ^.^

A wonderful Wednesday to you! ^^

First of all, i would like to say sorry for the late checking of your composition.

I was so busy lately.

I am really sorry.

By the way, I think you really like sports.

Maybe, you really like soccer.

Am I correct?

Anyway, thank you for the information you gave me through your writing.

Now, I know Mr. [Name].

I also check some things about him.

He is so young, but very skillful and promising.

I think the future is waiting for him. ^^

That\'s all for now! ^^

Have a great day ahead! ^^,

See you later! ^^.

... Teacher Paula ... ^.~

Good evening, Paula!
>> CORRECT!

I like today\'s homework.
>> CORRECT!

I hand in it as follows.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: I hand it in as follows.

Have a nice evening.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: Have a nice evening!

*Essay

Here in Korea, football is one of the most popular sports in our country.
>> CORRECT!

These days, AFC Asian Cup is held in Australia now, and I am also enjoying watching the games with live TV.
>> These day, AFC Asian Cup is held in Australia, and I am also enjoying watching the games live on TV. (THESE DAYS and NOW can\'t be used in one sentence.)

This Saturday, our team will have a game with Australia team.
>> CORRECT!

In this case, Australia team will take a home advantage, but I believe our team will win the game.
>> CORRECT!

Do you know Mr. [Name]?
>> CORRECT!

He is the most famous soccer player and the most promising person in this field.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: He is the most famous and promising Korean player in this field.

>> OR: He is the most famous and promising player in this field in Korea now.

I am really proud of him.
>> CORRECT!

If our team wins the first prize, Mr. [Name] will not need to go to the army.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: If out team become the champion, Mr. [Name] won\'t need to go to the army.

It is very important for him to play a game really well.
>> CORRECT!

I hope our team can defeat all of teams at the Asian Cup football tournament.
>> I hope our team can defeat all of the teams at the Asian Cup football tournament. (Don\'t forget to use THE when the idea is particular.)

>> OR: I hope our team can defeat all the teams at the Asian Cup football tournament.

I am cheering the soccer team in my heart and expecting for this weekend to come.

>> I am cheering for the soccer team in my heart and expecting for this weekend to come. (Remember this pattern \"CHEER FOR SOMEONE\".)

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