Composition

2015-02-24 · 첨삭 강사 Paula

학생이 쓴 원문

Dear my Teacher Paula, Good day! Are you enjoying your holiday? I am now packing up, and it is a little heavier than I thought. ^^;; Moreover, unfortunately, I have a little feeling of a cold, so I am worried that if this cold gets more severe. Now, I am drinking ginger tea consistently to get rid of a slight cold. Maybe, I got this cold from last Saturday's hiking. I am praying that we have a safe hiking. See you next Monday! *Essay When I go grocery shopping, I always make shopping lists that I need to buy. I usually go to traditional market to buy fresh fruits or vegetables. That place is not only cheap, but I can also feel their kindnesses who are selling those. When I purchase some goods, they usually throw in a few extra goods. Of course, I can't use my credit card in that place, but I still prefer to buy groceries in that place.

강사 첨삭

Dear [Name] [이름],

A wonderful Tuesday afternoon to you and to me! ^.^
Hahaha! ^^

I enjoyed my long holiday even though I didn\'t go hiking.
However, I think it would have been great if I saw a fantastic view after a suffering from an exciting activity.
Well, I can still say that I truly enjoyed the glorious vacation I had because of Lunar New Year celebration there in Korea.
I can say ~~~ YAHOO!!! ^^

By the way, I was glad when you said that you totally recovered from the cold that made you somehow annoyed during your hiking with your boyfriend.
But, I know that as a whole, you really enjoyed your long holiday. ^^

Anyway, that\'s all for now! ^^
See you very soon! ^^,

... Teacher Paula ... ^.~

Dear my Teacher Paula,
>> CORRECT!
Good day!
>> CORRECT!
Are you enjoying your holiday?
>> CORRECT!
I am now packing up, and it is a little heavier than I thought. ^^;;
>> CORRECT!
Moreover, unfortunately, I have a little feeling of a cold, so I am worried that if this cold gets more severe.
>> Moreover, unfortunately, I have a little feeling of a cold, so I am worried that if this cold gets severer. (REMEMBER: severe, severer, severest)
Now, I am drinking ginger tea consistently to get rid of a slight cold.
>> CORRECT!
Maybe, I got this cold from last Saturday\'s hiking.
>> CORRECT!
I am praying that we have a safe hiking.
>> CORRECT!
>> OR: I am praying for a safe hiking.
See you next Monday!
>> CORRECT!

*Essay

When I go grocery shopping, I always make shopping lists that I need to buy.
>> When I go grocery shopping, I always make shopping lists of what I need to buy. (PATTERN: list of something)
>> OR: When I go grocery shopping, I always make shopping lists of the things I need to buy.
I usually go to traditional market to buy fresh fruits or vegetables.
>> I usually go to the traditional market to buy fresh fruits and vegetables. (We put THE before the name of the places we usually visit.)
>> OR: I usually go to the public market to buy fresh fruits and vegetables.
That place is not only cheap, but I can also feel their kindnesses who are selling those.
>> That place\'s goods are not only cheap, but I can also feel the kindness of the people selling there. (Be careful with the message of your sentence.)
When I purchase some goods, they usually throw in a few extra goods.
>> CORRECT!
Of course, I can\'t use my credit card in that place, but I still prefer to buy groceries in that place.
>> Of course, I can\'t use my credit card in that place, but I still prefer to buy groceries there. (Avoid redundancy.)

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