Composition

Dear my Healthy Student [이름],

T.G.I.F.~~~!!! @.@

It\'s truly a happy and wonderful Friday. ^.^

I am glad to hear that you always make time for your exercise.

However, because of your work out, you somehow had an accident.

Frankly speaking, I felt pain when I heard that.

It seemed that I was the one who fell down the stairs. T.T

Well, that experience is still good.

It shows that even though how many times we fall, we will still stand.

Hahaha! ^^

That\'s all for now! ^^

Have a great weekend! ^^.

See you on Monday! ^^,

... Teacher Paula ... ^.~

Dear my Teacher Paula,

>> CORRECT!
Happy Friday!
>> CORRECT!

I just walked up the stairs to my office, so I am a little out of breath.
>> CORRECT!

That is my daily work out, and I think it is very helpful for me to keep my body in shape.
>> CORRECT!

I usually do that three times a day to keep my health, but my thighs somehow have become bigger than before.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: I usually do that thrice a day to keep my health, but my thighs somehow have become bigger than before.

That\'s okay.
>> CORRECT!

It proves that my muscles have been built, and it will keep my body healthy.
>> It proves that my muscles have been built, and it will keep my body healthy.

If it is hard for you to put your time into exercise, it would be good for you to try that. ^^
>> CORRECT!

What floor is your office located on?
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>> OR: What floor is your office located.

>> OR: What floor is your office situated.

See you very soon. ^^
>> CORRECT!

*Essay

As far as I know, children under five years of age really shouldn\'t be exposed to TV.
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It is because they are under forming their brains, so in this time, they really need to see and hear more creative and original things.
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Since they start watching TV, they can\'t get out of devilishness of that.
>> When they start watching TV, they can\'t get out of devilishness of that. (It is better to use WHEN than SINCE. When you use SINCE, it means that something already happened. If you use WHEN, it generalizing something.)

You can also find children\'s behavior when they are watching TV such as cartoons.
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When they are concentrating their attention to that, they almost are hooked up to that, and it makes them not to think of other things.
>> When they are concentrating on that, they almost are hooked up to it, and it makes them not to think of other things. (When we concentrate on something, we give our full attention. So, it is not good to use both CONCENTRATING and ATTENTION in one sentence. It seems redundant.)

Moreover, while they are watching TV, we can see easily that they have a meal unconsciously.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: Moreover, while they are watching TV, we can see easily that they take their meals unconsciously.

It means that their brain isn\'t working well in a situation of watching TV.
>> CORRECT!

Therefore, we should keep them away from that as long as possible.

>> CORRECT!