Composition

Dear my gorgeous Student [이름],

Happy Wednesday and good evening! ^.^

T.G.I.W.~~~!!! ^^

Thank God It\'s Wednesday! ^^,

Hahaha! ^^.

If I were you, I would be the one to tell the workers to minimize their noise.

Since, your boss is not there, you should be the one to act like him.

But, I know that you are not like that.

Well, I think all you can do is to endure the noise that they are creating.

It\'s really hard to concentrate on your work when you are in a noisy place.

Anyhow, about your composition, I totally agree with the reports from international organizations about students in Korea.

Compared to Korean students, Philippine students don\'t really feel a lot of pressure about their studies.

Our educational system makes sure that everything about studying and learning is student-centered.

That\'s all for now! ^^

See you very soon! ^^,

... Teacher Paula ... ^.~

Dear my handsome Teacher Paula,
>> CORRECT!

Good morning!
>> CORRECT!

The office at the opposite side of ours is now under repair, so it is a little bit noisy these days.
>> CORRECT!

Sometimes, they use an eclectic drill, and the noise makes me irritated.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: Sometimes, they use an electric drill, and the noise irritates me.

If our boss was in our office, he might have hindered them not to do that anymore. Hahaha!

>> CORRECT!

They are very lucky, since he is away at this moment. ^^;;
>> CORRECT!

I really hope the repair of the interior will be completed very soon.
>> CORRECT!

See you very soon.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: See you very soon!

*Essay

Yes, I do.
>> CORRECT!

From my thinking, our education system makes students lose their confidence.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: From my opinion, our educational system makes students have low self-esteem.

Here in Korea, people think generally that person who studies well is great.
>> Here in Korea, people think generally that a person who studies well is great. (You forgot to put A before PERSON.)

Because of that kind of the wrong perception, young generation is unhappy during their school days.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: Because of that kind of perception, young generation is unhappy during their school days.

According to some reports, happiness rate of students in Korea is at the bottom of OECD members.
>> CORRECT!

>> BETTER: According to some studies, happiness rate of students in Korea is at the bottom of Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) member countries\' list. (It is better to introduce the full name of an organization first before giving the acronym. It is to give more information to the readers. Hahaha! ^^)

The moment I heard that, I feel that our young generation is really pitiful.
>> CORRECT!

After finishing their regular study, they still have to struggle to get into a good company.
>> CORRECT!

They really dedicate their time in their twenties to satisfy some people such as their parents or teachers.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: They really dedicate their time in their twenties to meet some people\'s expectation such as their parents or teachers.

Of course, some are really dedicated for themselves, but it is very hard for them to lessen the stress in our social mood.
>> CORRECT!

I really hope our education system can be changed, so that their behaviors become more free and active.

>> I really hope our educational system can be changed, so that their behaviors  become freer and more active. (The COMPARATIVE FORM of FREE is FREER. It\'s SUPERLATIVE FORM is freest.)