Composition

Dear my beguiling Student [이름],

Happy Thursday! ^.^

A wonderful day for doing a fantastic composition! ^,^

Ohhh~~~!

I wonder why you think like that.

I think you are beautiful whatever hairstyle you have.

By the way, let me say Wow! ^^

Once again, I enjoyed reading your composition.

That\'s so informative.

I like your insight about about the question I gave.

Very good~~~! ^^

In my opinion, you gave the three main types of people that can influence youths\' behavior.

Anyway, don\'t forget to see the corrections and suggestions below.

See you very soon! ^^,

... Teacher Paula ... ^.~

Dear my alluring Teacher Paula,
>> CORRECT!

Good morning.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: Good morning.

Yesterday, I had my hair cut, but my hairdresser cut my forelock too short. Oh hell!
>> CORRECT!

Somehow, I would dislike looking at myself in a mirror. Hahaha!
>> CORRECT!

I will just have to wait and see when I wear my hair long. ㅠㅠ
>> CORRECT!

See you very soon! ^^
>> CORRECT!

*Essay

From my opinion, I would be able to list up as follows.
>> From my opinion , I would be able to list them up as follow. (I think your sentence is not yet complete. You forgot to identify what you need to list up. In addition, since you listed up more than two groups of people, FOLLOWS should be FOLLOW.)

The first rank of those is friends.
>> CORRECT!

Human beings are social animals, so we can\'t live alone.
>> CORRECT!

That\'s why we start to learn how to get along with others since early years.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: That\'s why we start to learn how to get along with others since our early years.

Participation in a peer group is a first step for us to make our human relationship.
>> Participation in a peer group is the first step for us to make our human relationship. (PATTERN: the + ordinal number + noun)

Wherever we go, we can\'t avoid meeting many people, and in that case, it would be better for us to be absorbed into group naturally.
>> Wherever we go, we can\'t avoid meeting many people, and in that case, it would be better for us to be absorbed into a group naturally. (You forgot to write A before GROUP.)

The second rank of those is parents.
>> CORRECT!

The first people who we meet right after being born are our parents.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: The first people who we meet right after we are born are our parents.

Their thinking really influences our emotional growth, so their educational way is one of the most important things in children\'s development.
>> CORRECT!

Finally, of course, teachers are also a very important influential factor to our children.
>> CORRECT!

When our children do bad behaviors in school, they can help parents to amend their conducts.
>> CORRECT!

In conclusion, I can say that these three factors are an indispensable part of their growth, so it is a little hard to discuss merits and demerits.

>> CORRECT!