Composition

Dear [이름],

Happy Tuesday! ^.^

Frankly sleeping, I didn\'t sleep well last night.

However, I am trying my best to reward myself by having some more rest.

You are right. ^^

I should take the opportunity to have more rest since by brother\'s baby girl is not with us at our home.

I think I need to take some sleeping pills.

Hahaha! ^^

Don\'t worry about me.

I am fine.

I am not really overdoing things. ^^

By the way, it\'s really good to know that men nowadays are also conscious about their looks.

I think it is really a good thing.

On the other hand, it is somehow a bad thing if more fashionable than women.

I\'m not really sure about that.

Anyway, that\'s all for now! ^^

See you later! ^^,

... Teacher Paula ... ^.~

Dear my Teacher Paula,
>> CORRECT!

Good morning!
>> CORRECT!

Did you have a tight sleep last night?
>> CORRECT!

Your face indeed went white yesterday, so I was worried about your condition.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: Your face indeed was pale yesterday, so I was worried about your condition.

Taking care of child is one of the hardest things, and we need a lot of energies to do that.
>> Taking care of a child is one of the hardest things, and we need a lot of energy to do that. (Don\'t forget to put articles before nouns when needed. ENERGY is uncountable, so it is a no no to make it plural.)

>> OR: Taking care of a child is one of the hardest things, and we need a lot of energy to fulfill that task.

In your case, you should take more rest taking advantage of an opportunity that your niece is away.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: In your situation, you should take advantage of the opportunity that your niece is away by resting.

Don\'t overdo it and take care of yourself all the time.
>> CORRECT!

See you this evening!
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: See you tonight!

*Essay

Here in Korea, shopping is a popular activity, and it is the most important activity for women.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: Here in our country, shopping is a popular activity, and women are really into it.

In my case, I first do window shopping by internet and go to the shop to wear those items in person.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: In my case, I first do window shopping on the web and go to the shop to wear those items in person before buying them.

Korea has four different seasons, so I somehow feel that there are no clothes to wear whenever the seasons change.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: We experience four seasons, so I somehow feel that there aren\'t any clothes to wear whenever the seasons change.

That is way I can\'t stop to go shopping every season.
>> CORRECT!

Besides our women, these days, men have also started to be interested in shipping for their looks.
>> Besides our women, these days, our men have also started to be interested in shipping for their looks. (It is better to put OUR also before MEN.)

>> OR: Besides our women, these days, male Koreans have also started to be interested in shipping for their looks.

In the old times, men were not good at taking care of their appearances, and even this was considered as an abnormal behavior.
>> CORRECT!

However, times have changed.
>> CORRECT!

There are a lot of men to concentrate on caring about their appearances.
>> There are a lot of men who concentrate on caring about their appearances. (TO should be WHO, because the word after MEN should describe it.)

The rate of selling cosmetics and clothes of men is growing day-by-day, and it is not to be ashamed for them any longer.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: The rate of selling cosmetics and clothes for men is increasing day-by-day, and it is something they have nothing to be ashamed of any longer. 

Not that long ago, many people look on them with a jaundiced eye, but these days, people seem to take that kind of social phenomenon pretty well without a bias.

>> CORRECT!