Composition

Dear [Name]. [Name], Happy Friday! It is so hot today, and I am feeling really stuffy due to wearing my jeans. I bought a KTX train ticket for Busan, and I am going to my hometown tomorrow. Maybe, there will be hotter than here, because it is located on the south. When I told my mother that I am going there, her voice sounded pleased and delighted. I was suddenly so sorry for her that I haven't gone there for a long time. Well, by this visiting, I should catch up on having a precious time with her and my older sister's family. See you very soon! *Essay In the old days, there were many families in which three or four generations live together. At the time, most people got married very early, so when they were about 35~40 years old, they already had their grandchildren. In addition, because of our Confucian ideas, woman had to be subordinate to the man's family. Moreover, in the old days, bearing more babies was considered as our ancestors' duties, so they tried to have more babies as many as they can, especially a boy, not a girl. This phenomenon is based on an agrarian society, so men are considered as a main workforce. That's why women were neglected until just recently. However, nowadays, our society has changed from the agrarian society to industrial society, so man's power is no longer important in comparison to the past. By this social mood, the position of women is growing day-by-day, and it leads to their lively entry into society. It makes women hold a dominant position in our families and organizations, so women are no longer forced to sacrifice. This kind of phenomenon is one of the most important factors why our families has become a nuclear family. To avoid the phenomenon, man's role has to be changed to follow this flow. Men shouldn't reign any further in front of women.

Dear [Name]. [이름],   T.G.I.F. and happy Labor\'s Day! ^.^   I can really feel that today is indeed a happy Friday for you. ^^ However, I\'m a little sad for not having a class with your today. I\'m also sad to hear that you are feeling stuffy because of your jeans. Well, all you need to do is to change it and go to a cold place.   By the way, I would like to say CONGARTULATIONS to you for successfully buying your ticket to go to Busan. I know that you will certainly enjoy your time there, especially that you are going to be with your mother, your sister and her family. Suddenly, I can imagine that you cried a little when you heard your mom\'s voice and her excitement to see you. If I was there in that scene, I would definitely cry.   Anyway, don\'t worry about the hotter weather there. Just concentrate on your precious time with your family and other people dear to you. Have an exciting weekend and a memorable long holiday! ^^ See you on Monday! ^^,   ... Teacher Paula ... ^.~   P.S.: I totally agree with your answer to the essay question I gave you, especially with your idea about women are not subordinate to men. ^.^     Dear [Name]. [Name], >> CORRECT! Happy Friday!>> CORRECT! It is so hot today, and I am feeling really stuffy due to wearing my jeans. >> CORRECT! >> OR: It is so hot today, and I am feeling really stuffy due to my jeans I\'m wearing. I bought a KTX train ticket for Busan, and I am going to my hometown tomorrow.>> CORRECT! Maybe, there will be hotter than here, because it is located on the south. >> CORRECT! >> OR: Maybe, there is hotter than here, because it is located on the south. When I told my mother that I am going there, her voice sounded pleased and delighted. >> CORRECT! I was suddenly so sorry for her that I haven\'t gone there for a long time. >> CORRECT! Well, by this visiting, I should catch up on having a precious time with her and my older sister\'s family. >> CORRECT! See you very soon!>> CORRECT!   *Essay In the old days, there were many families in which three or four generations live together. >> CORRECT! At the time, most people got married very early, so when they were about 35~40 years old, they already had their grandchildren.>> CORRECT! >> BETTER: At that time, most people got married very early, so when they were about 35~40 years old, they already had their grandchildren. In addition, because of our Confucian ideas, woman had to be subordinate to the man\'s family. >> CORRECT! >> OR: In addition, because of our Confucian ideas, a wife had to be subordinate to her husband\'s family. Moreover, in the old days, bearing more babies was considered as our ancestors\' duties, so they tried to have more babies as many as they can, especially a boy, not a girl. >> Moreover, in the old days, bearing more babies was considered as our ancestors\' duty, so they tried to have more babies as many as they could, especially a boy, not a girl. (DUTIES should be DUTY because of BEARING MORE BABIES. CAN should be COULD.) >> Moreover, in the old days, bearing more babies was considered as one of our ancestors\' duties, so they tried to have more babies as many as they possibly could, especially a boy, not a girl. This phenomenon is based on an agrarian society, so men are considered as a main workforce. >> This phenomenon is based on an agrarian society, so men were considered as a main workforce. (ARE should be WERE, because of the idea about the past.) That\'s why women were neglected until just recently. >> CORRECT! However, nowadays, our society has changed from the agrarian society to industrial society, so man\'s power is no longer important in comparison to the past. >> CORRECT! >> OR: However, nowadays, our society has changed from agrarian to industrial, so men\'s power is no longer important in comparison to the past. By this social mood, the position of women is growing day-by-day, and it leads to their lively entry into society. >> CORRECT! >> OR: By this social mood, the position of women is getting higher and higher day-by-day, and it leads to their active entry into society. It makes women hold a dominant position in our families and organizations, so women are no longer forced to sacrifice. >> CORRECT! This kind of phenomenon is one of the most important factors why our families has become a nuclear family. >> This kind of phenomenon is one of the most important factors why our families have become nuclear families. (Because of our families, HAS should be HAVE, and NUCLEAR FAMILY should be NUCLEAR FAMILIES.) To avoid the phenomenon, man\'s role has to be changed to follow this flow. >> CORRECT! >> OR: To avoid this phenomenon, men\'s role has to be changed to follow this flow. Men shouldn\'t reign any further in front of women. >> CORRECT!