Composition

2015-07-15 · 첨삭 강사 Paula

학생이 쓴 원문

Dear my Teacher Paula, Good morning! First, I would like to say thank you for explaining the difference between 'victim' and 'casualty.' I could totally understand the difference with your help. ^^ By the way, I could not sleep well yesterday because of some mosquitoes and dogs. Some mosquitoes bit my arm and leg and buzzed around my ears. I struck my face to catch the mosquito in my sleep, and in the result, I could catch it, but there were blood stains on my face. Well, the feeling was not that good. ^^;; In addition, some dogs were singing outside in the midnight, and the harmony stayed me awake for a long time. I really wanted to close the window, but because of the hot weather, I could not help to open that. Fortunately, my boss is not in the office now, so I feel somehow free and might be able to get some rest. ^^;; I just hope annoyances won't happen today. Hahaha! I felt again that if we don't sleep enough, we can't concentrate on our tasks ordinarily. I am yawning constantly, and I need to take a nap after having a lunch. ^^ I will certainly put up a mosquito net this evening! ^^ Be careful not to be bitten by them! ^^ See you very soon! [이름]

강사 첨삭

Dear my Student [이름],

 

A great Wednesday evening to you and to your loved ones! ^.^

 

I am very happy that you were okay with my explanation in relation with the difference between \'victim\' and \'casualty.\'

No need to thank me.

It is my pleasure to help you and know you better through your writings.

 

By the way, don\'t forget your mosquito net tonight.

Don\'t let the mosquitoes bite you again. ^^

I hope the dogs won\'t sing again tonight.

I really want you to have a good sleep through out the night, so you can gain much energy for tomorrow\'s challenges.

I hope your boss won\'t be in your office gain.

Hahaha! ^^

 

Anyway, enjoy reading my reply! ^^

Hahaha! ^^,

Have a peaceful sleep later! ^^.

See you tomorrow! ^,^

 

... Teacher Paula ... ^.~

 

 

Dear my Teacher Paula,
>> CORRECT!

Good morning!
>> CORRECT!

First, I would like to say thank you for explaining the difference between \'victim\' and \'casualty.\'
>> CORRECT!

I could totally understand the difference with your help. ^^
>> CORRECT!

By the way, I could not sleep well yesterday because of some mosquitoes and dogs.
>> CORRECT!

Some mosquitoes bit my arm and leg and buzzed around my ears.
>> CORRECT!

>> BETTER: Some mosquitoes bit my arms and legs and buzzed around my eyes. 

I struck my face to catch the mosquito in my sleep, and in the result, I could catch it, but there were blood stains on my face.
>> I struck my face to catch the mosquito in my sleep, and as a result, I could catch it, but there were blood stains on my face. (C1 There is no such expression like IN THE RESULT. It should be AS A RESULT.)

Well, the feeling was not that good. ^^;;
>> CORRECT!

In addition, some dogs were singing outside in the midnight, and the harmony stayed me awake for a long time.
>> In addition, some dogs were singing outside at midnight, and the harmony stayed me awake for a long time. (C2 PATTERN: at midnight)

>> OR: In addition, some dogs were singing outside at midnight, and the harmony kept me awake for a long time.

I really wanted to close the window, but because of the hot weather, I could not help to open that.
>> CORRECT!

Fortunately, my boss is not in the office now, so I feel somehow free and might be able to get some rest. ^^;;
>> CORRECT!

I just hope annoyances won\'t happen today. Hahaha!
>> CORRECT!

I felt again that if we don\'t sleep enough, we can\'t concentrate on our tasks ordinarily.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: I felt again that if we don\'t have enough sleep, we can\'t concentrate on our tasks properly.

I am yawning constantly, and I need to take a nap after having a lunch. ^^
>> CORRECT!

I will certainly put up a mosquito net this evening! ^^
>> CORRECT!

Be careful not to be bitten by them! ^^
>> CORRECT!

See you very soon!
>> CORRECT!

[이름]

>> CORRECT!

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