Composition

2015-08-12 · 첨삭 강사 Paula

학생이 쓴 원문

Dear my majestic Teacher Paula, Good morning! First of all, I am also happy for my last perfect composition, and I owe it all to you. I hope I can speak in English like my writing someday. As for ball games, maybe, you will defeat me with a sizeable lead. That will be an obvious result, because you used to be a volleyball player. ^^ When it comes to ball games, I can't win over you, including bowling. Hahaha! By the way, there is a bad news on me. This morning, our boss suddenly sent a long mobile message and asked me to change my summer vacation schedule back to next week. I was so annoyed and couldn't accept his order. Having summer holiday is my deserved right to enjoy, and no one can make me do like this, like that. He said we would be very busy to deal with our tasks even if our Chinese coworkers would be having their holiday. How can we deal with these tasks without them? I am not a person who ignores our busyness and just goes for a vacation, and I fixed my schedule after considering the volume of my tasks at that time of year. I don't understand why he said like that, and that sounds so unreasonable. Whenever there is something related to LG even if that is so simple and ridiculous, he always acts too sensitively. I really have to talk to him about this matter seriously in the afternoon. By the way, regarding today's subject that you command me for making a composition, actually, there are no sports that I am playing recently. Usually, I play sports with my boyfriend, but he is very busy to study, so there is no time to go to play sports. If both of us are available to play sports, we will do wall climbing first. We all have our dedicated wall climbing shoes, so all we do is just go to the place and climb hard. Well, just the thought of it makes me excited. Anyway, that is all for today and see you this evening! ^^ [이름]

강사 첨삭

Dear my Quick-witted Student [이름],

 

A blessed Wednesday evening to you! ^.^

 

CONGRATULATIONS! ^^

Today, you made a PERFECT composition again! ^^,

You are really getting your rhythm in relation with writing.

I am so happy.

You are really making me proud as your teacher and friend. Hahaha! ^^.

 

By the way, don\'t forget to give me some updates about your summer vacation.

I hope your boss won\'t really ask you to change your planned holiday.

 

Anyway, you shouldn\'t say that I will win when we play ball sports together.

I haven\'t played volleyball and bowling for a long time.

I am not that good as before, but I will try my best to give you a good match. Hahaha! ^^

 

That\'s all for now! ^^,

Happy Reading! ^^.

See you tomorrow! ^.^

 

... Teacher Paula ... ^.~

 

 

Dear my majestic Teacher Paula,

>> CORRECT!
Good morning!
>> CORRECT!

First of all, I am also happy for my last perfect composition, and I owe it all to you.
>> CORRECT!

I hope I can speak in English like my writing someday.
>> CORRECT!

As for ball games, maybe, you will defeat me with a sizeable lead.
>> CORRECT!

That will be an obvious result, because you used to be a volleyball player. ^^
>> CORRECT!

When it comes to ball games, I can\'t win over you, including bowling. Hahaha!
>> CORRECT!

By the way, there is a bad news on me.
>> CORRECT!

This morning, our boss suddenly sent a long mobile message and asked me to change my summer vacation schedule back to next week.
>> CORRECT!

I was so annoyed and couldn\'t accept his order.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: I was so annoyed and couldn\'t accept his command.

Having summer holiday is my deserved right to enjoy, and no one can make me do like this, like that.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: Having summer vacation is one of my right that I deserve to enjoy, and no one can make me do things that I don\'t like.

He said we would be very busy to deal with our tasks even if our Chinese coworkers would be having their holiday.
>> CORRECT!

How can we deal with these tasks without them?
>> CORRECT!

I am not a person who ignores our busyness and just goes for a vacation, and I fixed my schedule after considering the volume of my tasks at that time of year.
>> CORRECT!

I don\'t understand why he said like that, and that sounds so unreasonable.
>> CORRECT!

Whenever there is something related to LG even if that is so simple and ridiculous, he always acts too sensitively.
>> CORRECT!

I really have to talk to him about this matter seriously in the afternoon.
>> CORRECT!

By the way, regarding today\'s subject that you command me for making a composition, actually, there are no sports that I am playing recently.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: By the way, regarding today\'s subject that you asked me to make a composition for, actually, I don\'t play any sports recently.

Usually, I play sports with my boyfriend, but he is very busy to study, so there is no time to go to play sports.
>> CORRECT!

>> BETTER: I usually play sports with my boyfriend, but since he is busy at his studies, we don\'t have time to do those.

If both of us are available to play sports, we will do wall climbing first.
>> CORRECT!

We all have our dedicated wall climbing shoes, so all we do is just go to the place and climb hard.
>> CORRECT!

>> OR: We both have our own wall climbing shoes, so we just go to the place and climb hard.

Well, just the thought of it makes me excited.
>> CORRECT!

Anyway, that is all for today and see you this evening! ^^
>> CORRECT!

[이름]

>> CORRECT!

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