Composition

2015-08-24 · 첨삭 강사 Paula

학생이 쓴 원문

Dear Teacher Paula, A happy Friday to you! ^^ It is a happy Friday, but I might be unable to enjoy this happiness during my working time because of many tasks of translation. Those are professional things related with a technical field, so I need a lot of time to finish that. Once I face this situation, I should set other tasks aside until I finish those. Fortunately, these days, there are no shipments to care for, so I can feel a little relieved. Now, I am somehow lazy to start doing that, so I am keeping putting off the task of translation. ^^;; Well, that is my work to finish in the end, so I can't avoid doing that anymore. That is all for now and see you very soon! ^^ [이름] P.S.: Below is my composition. In my opinion, our government should intervene to force people to be healthier. Health problem is no longer an individual problem. If people are unhealthy, they need to see a doctor, and it can be directly connected with our government's budget. The more people lose their health, the more our government will face a tight budget because they should have more burdens to bear. Furthermore, in the end, not only all burdens will be shifted on the public, but it also can lead to the series of social problems, such as a reduction of the labor or a breakdown of family. One small thing can create a domino effect, so our government has an obligation to keep people's precious and fundamental assets.

강사 첨삭

Dear [Name] [이름],   Happy Monday! ^.^   First of all, I am really sorry because of my delayed reply. We had some problems with power interruption due to a typhoon since last Friday. I would also like to say sorry for my absence last Friday. Because of the typhoon that hit our city, it wasn\'t possible for me to go to work and have our class. I am really sorry. T.T   Anyway, I think your translation tasks really kept you busy last weekend. Well, even though you has a hectic weekend, I can still feel that you had a great time.   Anyhow, that\'s all for now! ^^ Happy reading! ^^, See you very soon! ^^.   ... Teacher Paula ... ^.~     Dear Teacher Paula, >> CORRECT! A happy Friday to you! ^^>> CORRECT! It is a happy Friday, but I might be unable to enjoy this happiness during my working time because of many tasks of translation. >> CORRECT! >> OR: It is a happy Friday, but I might be unable to enjoy this happiness during my working time because of many translation tasks. Those are professional things related with a technical field, so I need a lot of time to finish that. >> CORRECT! Once I face this situation, I should set other tasks aside until I finish those. >> CORRECT! Fortunately, these days, there are no shipments to care for, so I can feel a little relieved. >> CORRECT! Now, I am somehow lazy to start doing that, so I am keeping putting off the task of translation. ^^;;>> Now, I am somehow lazy to start doing that, so I am keeping on putting off the translation tasks. Well, that is my work to finish in the end, so I can\'t avoid doing that anymore. >> CORRECT! That is all for now and see you very soon! ^^>> CORRECT! [이름] >> CORRECT! P.S.: Below is my composition. >> CORRECT! In my opinion, our government should intervene to force people to be healthier. >> CORRECT! Health problem is no longer an individual problem.>> CORRECT! >> OR: Health problem is no longer an individual issue. >> OR: Health problem is no longer an individual matter. If people are unhealthy, they need to see a doctor, and it can be directly connected with our government\'s budget. >> CORRECT! The more people lose their health, the more our government will face a tight budget because they should have more burdens to bear. >> CORRECT! Furthermore, in the end, not only all burdens will be shifted on the public, but it also can lead to the series of social problems, such as a reduction of the labor or a breakdown of family. >> CORRECT! One small thing can create a domino effect, so our government has an obligation to keep people\'s precious and fundamental assets. >> CORRECT! >> OR: One small thing can create a domino effect, so our government has an obligation to keep its people as precious and fundamental assets.

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