Composition

2016-09-07 · 첨삭 강사 Erine

학생이 쓴 원문

Good morning, Teacher! Do you remember that we were supposed to talk about advantages of a lottery? However, we suddenly talked about mistakes in workplace today. I am going to list advantages of a lottery below. 1. We can enjoy a healthy leisure activity with a small amount of money. 2. Buying a lottery is not harmful to other people in contrast to smoking. 3. We can enjoy this easily alone everywhere. 4. We can at least have a hope until when the result comes out. 5. Our government can do public works with profits from this lottery for the people. In conclusion, I am not saying that we should buy a lottery ticket aggressively. I just want to say that if you are available to buy this ticket and confident with not falling into this gambling, you can just enjoy this leisure activity with a light heart. But who knows, maybe one day you will win the lottery. Hahaha! See you tomorrow! ^^**

강사 첨삭

Hi, [이름]!

I totally forgot about the topic we were supposed to discuss.

I apologize. However, thank you for telling me so.

I will be discussing my opinions tomorrow.

But I just have a question to leave you: At what age did you start

buying tickets for lottery?

See you!
~~Teacher Erine~~

Good morning, Teacher! 

>> Correct
 Do you remember that we were supposed to talk about advantages of a lottery?

>> Correct
 However, we suddenly talked about mistakes in workplace today. 

>> Correct
 I am going to list advantages of a lottery below. 

>> Correct
 1. We can enjoy a healthy leisure activity with a small amount of money. 

>> Correct [Agree.
 2. Buying a lottery is not harmful to other people in contrast to smoking. 

>> Buying a lottery ticket is not harmful to other people in contrast to smoking.
 3. We can enjoy this easily alone everywhere.

>> We can enjoy it everywhere alone.
 4. We can at least have a hope until when the result comes out. 

>> Correct
 5. Our government can do public works with profits from this lottery for the people.
>> Correct
In conclusion, I am not saying that we should buy a lottery ticket aggressively.

>> Correct
 I just want to say that if you are available to buy this ticket and confident with not falling into this gambling, you can just enjoy this leisure activity with a light heart. 

>> Correct
 But who knows, maybe one day you will win the lottery. Hahaha!

>> Correct
 See you tomorrow! ^^**

>> Correct

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