Composition

2016-09-30 · 첨삭 강사 Erine

학생이 쓴 원문

Good morning, Teacher! How is the weather like there? Here in Korea, we will experience a typhoon called CHABA so the weather condition won't be good during our holiday. It won't be affecting us directly but it will give us a lot of rain. I am sorry to hear this bad news because we won't enjoy outdoor activities if it rains. I think you would know about what I feel now. ^^;; By the way, I am going to tell you about the hot issue that we are facing here. Amorepacific is one of the biggest companies that sell daily household items like cosmetics and toothpaste. However, these days, the toothpaste made by them is recalled due to harmful ingredients. The toothpaste contains CMIT and MIT that is used for humidifier's germicide that led people to die a few years ago. Korean Food and Drugs Administration said that the amount of CMIT and MIT in toothpaste is not too much so it would be harmless to people. However, many people usually gargle with water only a few times after brushing so there is a big possibility to still have harmful ingredients of toothpaste in our mouths. I also used to use the toothpaste so I resent for this ridiculous situation. I have no idea of what you are using now but if you have the toothpaste from the company, you’d better stop using that. Indeed, it is really alarming. Anyway, have a fabulous weekend and see you again! ^^

강사 첨삭

Hello, [이름]!
I tried checking the hot issue about the name of the company

and their products and luckily, I don\'t use any of those.

Please be careful with the products that you are using.

These chemicals may be harmless but still, can give us some

problems in the future.

Be careful.

See you soon [이름]!
~~Teacher Erine~~

Good morning, Teacher!
>> Correct
How is the weather like there?

>> Correct
Here in Korea, we will experience a typhoon called CHABA so the weather condition won\'t be good during our holiday.

>> Correct
It won\'t be affecting us directly but it will give us a lot of rain.

>> Correct
I am sorry to hear this bad news because we won\'t enjoy outdoor activities if it rains.

>> Correct
I think you would know about what I feel now. ^^;;

>> Correct [I do!]
By the way, I am going to tell you about the hot issue that we are facing here.

>> Correct
Amorepacific is one of the biggest companies that sell daily household items like cosmetics and toothpaste.

>> Correct
However, these days, the toothpaste made by them is recalled due to harmful ingredients.

>> Correct [My student just mentioned something about it a while ago.]
The toothpaste contains CMIT and MIT that is used for humidifier\'s germicide that led people to die a few years ago.

>> The toothpaste contains CMIT and MIT that are used for humidifier\'s germicide that led people to die a few years ago.
Korean Food and Drugs Administration said that the amount of CMIT and MIT in toothpaste is not too much so it would be harmless to people.

>> Correct
However, many people usually gargle with water only a few times after brushing so there is a big possibility to still have harmful ingredients of toothpaste in our mouths.

>> Correct
I also used to use the toothpaste so I resent for this ridiculous situation.

>> Correct
I have no idea of what you are using now but if you have the toothpaste from the company, you’d better stop using that.

>> Correct
Indeed, it is really alarming.

>> Correct
Anyway, have a fabulous weekend and see you again! ^^

>> Correct

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