Composition

2016-10-12 · 첨삭 강사 Erine

학생이 쓴 원문

Good afternoon, Teacher! Today, we talked about a wedding and I found that you have a different idea with me. Maybe, the way of thinking that you have is common and natural. Here in Korea, most brides would also hope that their wedding ceremony will be wonderful and perfect. I can understand this idea because a wedding is known as once in a lifetime event. The problem there is that there were some instances that couples were easily deceived or got rip off because of the perception. The reason is because it is their first time to hold a wedding so they have no idea of the wedding process and they have a way of thinking that they don’t want to spoil their wedding just because of the cost. That is why the wedding companies tend to take advantage of newlyweds’ psychology and then, the wedding industry is getting bigger and bigger with bubbles. I feel very regretful when I see the meaning of wedding is tarnished. Fortunately, a lot of people have started to minimize and simplify the cost and the ceremony of their wedding. It indicates that they are already conscious that a current wedding ceremony is rich in empty formalities. In my case, I also don’t want to waste expenses so I am going to omit some processes. I don’t think the way of my thinking would spoil the mood and hinder myself from enjoying my wedding. The most important thing is just two of us, me and my soon to be husband, isn’t it? That is all for today and see you tomorrow! ^^

강사 첨삭

Hello, [이름]!
Here is one thing that I want you to consider

despite the expenses you will have for your wedding.

You have been with your boyfriend for quite a long time now. But getting

married is another chapter in your relationship.

Getting married with the right guy, the perfect guy, deserves a perfect

ceremony so I know you already got what I meant!^^
~~Teacher Erine~~

Good afternoon, Teacher!

>> Correct
 Today, we talked about a wedding and I found that you have a different idea with me. 

>>  Today, we talked about weddings and I found that you have a different idea with me. 

 Maybe, the way of thinking that you have is common and natural. 

>> Correct 
 Here in Korea, most brides would also hope that their wedding ceremony will be wonderful and perfect. 

>> Correct 
I can understand this idea because a wedding is known as once in a lifetime event. 

>> I can understand this idea because weddings are known as once in a lifetime event. 
 The problem there is that there were some instances that couples were easily deceived or got rip off because of the perception. 

>> Correct 
 The reason is because it is their first time to hold a wedding so they have no idea of the wedding process and they have a way of thinking that they don’t want to spoil their wedding just because of the cost. 

>> Correct [That\'s true!]
 That is why the wedding companies tend to take advantage of newlyweds’ psychology and then, the wedding industry is getting bigger and bigger with bubbles. 

>> Correct 
 I feel very regretful when I see the meaning of wedding is tarnished.

>> Correct 
 Fortunately, a lot of people have started to minimize and simplify the cost and the ceremony of their wedding.

>> Correct 
 It indicates that they are already conscious that a current wedding ceremony is rich in empty formalities. 

>> Correct 
 In my case, I also don’t want to waste expenses so I am going to omit some processes. 

>> Correct 
 I don’t think the way of my thinking would spoil the mood and hinder myself from enjoying my wedding. 

>> Correct 
 The most important thing is just two of us, me and my soon to be husband, isn’t it? 

>> Correct 
 That is all for today and see you tomorrow! ^^

>> Correct 

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