Composition

2018-12-03 · 첨삭 강사 May

학생이 쓴 원문

In some countries having children is considered a way of "investing in the future", and young people are expected to give money to their parents when they get a job, and then to care for them when they retire. What are the good points and what are the bad points about this system? I think it cannot be called as a system. It is natural to raise their kids for parents and support their old parents for workers. It has been always human life during our history.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! Thaks for doing your homework.

And it was to meet you. ^^

~~May~~

I think it cannot be called as a system.

>> CORRECT GRAMMAR
 It is natural to raise their kids for parents and support their old parents for workers.

>>  It is a natural/responsibility of parents to raise their kids and for kids to support their parents when they got a job. 
 It has been always human life during our history.

>> It has always been a part of people\'s life even in the past.

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