Composition

Hello!^^

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Jean 

I want to emigrate to America to find greener patures. Maybe, it can be a brain drain to Korea.

>> or: I want to emigrate to the United States to seek greener pastures, which may contribute to a brain drain in my country.

 If I should get a permanant residency of the US, I will uproot my family and move to America.

>> If I should obtain a Green Card, I will have to uproot my family and move to the USA.

 I feel drawn to Ametica\'s software industry. Many software engineers graviate towards Silicon Valley.

>> I feel drawn to the country\'s software industry and just like many other software engineers, I also gravitate toward Silicon Valley.

However, even though I may be a American citizen, I do not want to lose Korean spirits.

>> However, even though I may be an American citizen, I do not want to lose my Korean spirit.

 That is, I have double standards.

>> correct [grammar-wise, but not in usage]

 It is mainly because America\'s IT industry expansion is somewhat like a form of neoclonialism.

>> or: Although as I see it, this is primarily the result of America\'s IT industry expansion, which is to some extent, a form of neocolonialism.