Composition: men should get paternity leave
학생이 쓴 원문
Yes, men should get paternity leave as women do. In modern society, a household is becoming a nuclear family so that there are no family members who can take care of a new baby and mother who just delivered a baby whereas in old days, a family consisted of grandmother, grandfather, uncles, aunts, etc. who can extend their support to the other family members. Given the situation, husband’s role was getting important in taking care of his baby and wife so that the paternity leave should be given to men as well. However, in reality, men cannot apply for paternity leave without feeling pressure from the company in Korea. Now the Korean labor related regulation guarantees a week long paternity leave for a mail employee, but not all of them are taking the leave due to the sentiment that taking paternity leave is viewed as he is not dedicating to his job.
강사 첨삭
Hi there again SIR [이름]^^
Thank you for sending me your homework. You did a fantastic job! You were able to elaborate your opinions well. Paternity leave is important for families. Did you take a paternity leave before? Can you tell me more about it later in class. See you! Have a great night!
Teacher Nina
Yes, men should get paternity leave as women do.
>> Yes, men should have a paternity leave as women do.
In modern society, a household is becoming a nuclear family so that there are no family members who can take care of a new baby and mother who just delivered a baby whereas in old days, a family consisted of grandmother, grandfather, uncles, aunts, etc. who can extend their support to the other family members.
>> Did you mean: In modern society, a household is becoming a nuclear family so it means no family members can take good care of the new baby and the mother who just delivered can have a rest adn after goes back to work, whereas in the old days a family consists of grandmother, grandfather, uncles, aunts, etc. who can extend their support to their other family members.
Given the situation, husband’s role was getting important in taking care of his baby and wife so that the paternity leave should be given to men as well.
>> Given in the situation, husband\'s role is important in taking care of his baby and wife so it means paternity leave should also be given as well.
However, in reality, men cannot apply for paternity leave without feeling pressure from the company in Korea.
>> However, in reality, men cannot apply for paternity leave without feeling pressured from the company in Korea.
Now the Korean labor related regulation guarantees a week long paternity leave for a mail employee, but not all of them are taking the leave due to the sentiment that taking paternity leave is viewed as he is not dedicating to his job.
>> Now the Korean labor guarantee a week long paternity leave for a male employees, but not all of them can take a leave due to the sentiment hey are not dedicated to their job.
OR >> The Labor of Employment in Korea guarantee a week long paternity leave for male employees but not all of them can have it due to the sentiment that they are not dedicated to their job.
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