composition part6

I think an office uniform is very important. first it solidates the members of the company. wearing the same clothes, staffs in the company can identify themselves as one group, thus helping to develop teamwork and companionship. if workers will not wear their company uniforms, clients or customers who visited thier workplaces would have difficulty noticing them and asking the guide, especially in the public places where it is very crowded. most of the time, name cards that they hang on their necks are not enough to identify them,since they are not so visible from far. Though it may be eye-catching if one wears his or her uniform outside the workplace, it has effects of regulating thier behaviors and leading them to act in a responsible way at anywhere. For these reasons, I appreciate wearing office uniforms.

Hi there [이름]! You did a great job in this composition! I agree with you that wearing an office uniform is very important. Office uniforms make employees be identified with the company they are working for.   Your idea is very good! You even used many of the vocabulary words  from the book. That\'s a good practice. Keep up being a good student.   I think an office uniform is very important. >> I think using an office uniform is very important. first it solidates the members of the company. >>  (INSERT THIS) >> Here are some reasons to explain its importance. >> First, it unifies the members of the company.wearing the same clothes, staffs in the company can identify themselves as one group, thus helping to develop teamwork and companionship. >>  Wearing the same clothes, staffs in the company can identify themselves as one group, thus helping to develop teamwork and companionship.if workers will not wear their company uniforms, clients or customers who visited thier workplaces would have difficulty noticing them and asking the guide, especially in the public places where it is very crowded. >> Next, if workers will not wear their company uniforms, clients or customers who visited their workplaces would have difficulty noticing them and asking guidance, especially in public places where it is very crowded.  most of the time, name cards that they hang on their necks are not enough to identify them,since they are not so visible from far.>> Most of the time, name cards hung on their necks are not enough to identify them since they are not so visible from afar.Though it may be eye-catching if one wears his or her uniform outside the workplace, it has effects of regulating thier behaviors and leading them to act in a responsible way at anywhere.>>  Though wearing one\'s uniform outside the workplace could be eye-catching, it has effects on regulating one\'s behaviors and leading him or her to act ina responsible way anywhere. OR >> Though  wearing office uniforms provide aesthetic benefits, it has also some effects in regulating and leading one to act responsibly anywhere.For these reasons, I appreciate wearing office uniforms. >> CORRECT OR >> It is for these reasons that I appreciate if one wears his or her office uniform. OR >> For these reasons, I appreciate if one wears his or her office uniform.