compostion
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Dear my irresistable Student [이름],
Wow ~~~ ^^
I like your composition.
You enumerated the things that are needed to be discussed in relation to the usage of automobiles.
It is indeed true that automobiles make our lives convenient.
On the other hand, they little by little destroy nature.
It\'s a price we need to pay.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading my feedback about your writing.
Make a fantastic weekend! ^^
See you on Monday! ^^.
... Teacher Paula ... ^.~
Dear my charming Teacher Paula,
>> CORRECT!
Good day!
>> CORRECT!
First of all, because of our internet connection, I didn\'t enjoy my last class with you.
>> CORRECT!
Maybe, my computer is an old one, and it might bother our class yesterday.
>> Maybe, my computer is an old one, and it might have bothered our class yesterday. (MIGHT + BASE-VERB is for present and future use. MIGHT HAVE PP is used for past.)
I really have to change my computer as a new model.
>> CORRECT!
See you. ^^
>> CORRECT!
*ESSAY
In my opinion, there are advantages and disadvantages of having automobile.
>> In my opinion, there are advantages and disadvantages of having an automobile. (Since AUTOMOBILE is a countable noun, you should put AN in front of it.)
Now, I will list the reasons in detail.
>> CORRECT!
>> OR: Now, I will enumerate the reasons in detail.
1. Advantages
>> CORRECT!
>> OR: Let\'s talk about the advantages of using an automobile.
1) Automobile is a convenient transportation.
>> An automobile is a convenient transportation.
We can go everywhere we want to go by car.
>> CORRECT!
2) When we commute by car, we can get a protection of privacy.
>> CORRECT!
>> OR: When we commute by car, we have get privacy.
We don\'t need to suffer from a busy subway and bus.
>> CORRECT!
2. Disadvantages
>> CORRECT!
>> OR: Let\'s tackle the disadvantages of using a car.
1) High expenses such as insurance and tax or something have to be paid.
>> CORRECT!
2) The more we have automobiles, the more serious the destruction of the environment is.
>> CORRECT!
3) If we don\'t set a limit to buy a car, it will cause the exhaustion of gasoline.
>> CORRECT!
As a result, we must use car from necessity, and we should not use them rashly.
>> As a result, we must use cars from necessity, and we should not use them rashly. (CAR should be CARS since you used THEM.)
>> OR: As a result, we must use cars if it\'s necessary, and we should not use them rashly.
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