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2021-05-10 · 첨삭 강사 Elly

학생이 쓴 원문

My opinion, however, is that all university students should study useful subjects for the future. Perhaps the principal advantage is that since job-hunting is getting harder and harder over the world, majoring skillful subjects will definitely help undergraduates to get opportunities for having a job. Another convincing reason is that as the world is in fourth industrial revolution, it is essential to learn about knowledges that is associated to science and technology. In the meantime, studies about the humanities have achieved in many areas. It is time to focus on investing unknown knowledge such as AI, big data and robot. In light of the above, I find these more persuasive. In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about this topic. However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that it has more benefit when students in universities study subjects connected to usage in the future for the reasons discussed above.

강사 첨삭

Hi Ji An,
Thank you for your opinions below.
Have an awesome afternoon!
Teacher Elly.
My opinion, however, is that all university students should study useful subjects for the future.
CORRECT!
or>>But in my opinion, all university students should study subjects that can be useful for them in the future.
Perhaps the principal advantage is that since job-hunting is getting harder and harder over the world, majoring skillful subjects will definitely help undergraduates to get opportunities for having a job. 
>>Perhaps, the principal advantage is that since job-hunting is getting even more difficult than ever all over the world, majoring in subjects that sharpen one\'s skills will definitely help the undergraduates to have better opportunities in getting a job. 
Another convincing reason is that as the world is in fourth industrial revolution, it is essential to learn about knowledges that is associated to science and technology. 
>>Another convincing reason is that, as the world is into its fourth industrial revolution, it is essential to learn about various knowledge that are associated to science and technology. 
In the meantime, studies about the humanities have achieved in many areas. 
>>In the meantime, studies about humanities have already been achieved in many areas. 
It is time to focus on investing unknown knowledge such as AI, big data and robot. 
>>It is time to focus on investing in unknown fields such as AI, robotics and in handling a huge data . 
In light of the above, I find these more persuasive.
CORRECT!
or>>In reference to the above information, I deem these more persuasive.
In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are a variety of opinions about this topic. 
CORRECT!
or>>In conclusion, it is irrefutable that there are many opinions about this topic.
However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that it has more benefit when students in universities study subjects connected to usage in the future for the reasons discussed above.
>>However, after considering this matter in a careful manner, I fully support the view that it has more benefits when students in universities study subjects connected to usage in the future for the reasons discussed above.

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