cooperation vs competition
학생이 쓴 원문
강사 첨삭
Thank you for sending me your essay, Mi [이름]^^
A sense of competition is necessary to keep the drive, but excessive amount is also detrimental TT
See you tomorrow~
A sense of competition is useful to lead to will and motivation.
>>A sense of competition is useful to develop will and motivation.
So it is necessary to encourage a sense of competiton.
>>So it is necessary to encourage a sense of this.
>>A sense of competition is useful to develop will and motivation, so it is necessary to encourage a sense of this.
Cooperation is important element of life.
>> Cooperation is an important element of life.
I can\'t live alone.
>>CORRECT!
>> I can\'t live independently.
It is desirable to live with helping each other.
>>It is desirable to live while helping one another.
I think a sense of competition and cooperation are both important.
>> I think competition and cooperation are both important.
but to children, It is necessary to be careful about excessive competition.
>>But among children, it is necessary to be careful about excessive competition.
Because of the feature of children, cooperation is more important than competition.
>>CORRECT!
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