cooperation vs competition

2014-12-16 · 첨삭 강사 Rose

학생이 쓴 원문

A sense of competition is useful to lead to will and motivation. So it is necessary to encourage a sense of competiton. Cooperation is important element of life. I can't live alone. It is desirable to live with helping each other. I think a sense of competition and cooperation are both important. but to children, It is necessary to be careful about excessive competition. Because of the feature of children, cooperation is more important than competition.

강사 첨삭

Thank you for sending me your essay, Mi [이름]^^

A sense of competition is necessary to keep the drive, but excessive amount is also detrimental TT

See you tomorrow~

A sense of competition is useful to lead to will and motivation.

>>A sense of competition is useful to develop will and motivation.

So it is necessary to encourage a sense of competiton.

>>So it is necessary to encourage a sense of this.

>>A sense of competition is useful to develop will and motivation, so it is necessary to encourage a sense of this.
 Cooperation is important element of life.

>> Cooperation is an important element of life.
 I can\'t live alone.

>>CORRECT!

>> I can\'t live independently.

It is desirable to live with helping each other.

>>It is desirable to live while helping one another.
 I think a sense of competition and cooperation are both important.

>> I think competition and cooperation are both important.

 but to children, It is necessary to be careful about excessive competition.

>>But among children, it is necessary to be careful about excessive competition.
 Because of the feature of children, cooperation is more important than competition.
 

>>CORRECT!

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