영어첨삭교정
학생이 쓴 원문
If I have to live in this place forever, I want to live in a place with different seasons. It\'s really nice to feel the process of changing seasons. A year has passed when I feel the process of changing seasons. Everyday, I walk same path, play the same music, and feel a different season. Even in the same winter, there are days when it feels unusually bitter or sweet. So, I want to feel diverse seasons for my whole life. Then let\'s say I live somewhere else for just one year this time. If that\'s the case, I want to live in a place with little change in temperature. For example, places like Alaska. Places that are uniformly cold. Because I\'m really affected by the weather, and I wonder how my life will change if the factors that greatly influence me remain constant.What would my year be like if I lived in a constant cold that I couldn\'t feel the difference in the weight of the subtle air? I wondered if I could find a variety of things that have a new effect on me other than the weather.
강사 첨삭
Hi Wendy! You did a great job with this composition. I was really intrigued with your answer as to how living in a cold place would be better rather than a hot place. On the otherhand, I would agree with you on living in a place with 4 different seasons to feel change rather than having a constant life only experiencing one kind of weather. Keep it up!^^
---Teacher Ryka^^
If I have to live in this place forever, I want to live in a place with different seasons.
>> If I have the chance to choose where to live forever, I\'d live in a place with different seasons.
It\'s really nice to feel the process of changing seasons.
>> It\'s really nice to feel the transition every time the season changes.
A year has passed when I feel the process of changing seasons.
>> It\'s been a year since I last felt the change in seasons.
Everyday, I walk same path, play the same music, and feel a different season.
>>Everyday, I walk the same path, play the same music, and feel the change in different seasons.
Even in the same winter, there are days when it feels unusually bitter or sweet.
>> Even during Winter, there are days when it feels unusually bitter or sweet.
So, I want to feel diverse seasons for my whole life.
>> So, I want to be able to experience diverse seasons all my life.
Then let\'s say I live somewhere else for just one year this time.
>> Let\'s say I live somewhere else for once.
If that\'s the case, I want to live in a place with little change in temperature.
>> If that\'s the case, I want to live in a place with not much change in temperature.
For example, places like Alaska.
>> For example, Alaska.
Places that are uniformly cold.
>> CORRECT
Because I\'m really affected by the weather, and I wonder how my life will change if the factors that greatly influence me remain constant.
>> CORRECT
OR >> Because I\'m remarkably affected by the weather, and so I wonder how my life will change if the factors that greatly influence me remain constant.
What would my year be like if I lived in a constant cold that I couldn\'t feel the difference in the weight of the subtle air?
>> What would my year be like if I lived in constant cold wherein I couldn\'t feel the difference in the weight of the subtle air?
I wondered if I could find a variety of things that have a new effect on me other than the weather.
>> I wondered if I could find a variety of things that would affect me other than the weather.
---Teacher Ryka^^
If I have to live in this place forever, I want to live in a place with different seasons.
>> If I have the chance to choose where to live forever, I\'d live in a place with different seasons.
It\'s really nice to feel the process of changing seasons.
>> It\'s really nice to feel the transition every time the season changes.
A year has passed when I feel the process of changing seasons.
>> It\'s been a year since I last felt the change in seasons.
Everyday, I walk same path, play the same music, and feel a different season.
>>Everyday, I walk the same path, play the same music, and feel the change in different seasons.
Even in the same winter, there are days when it feels unusually bitter or sweet.
>> Even during Winter, there are days when it feels unusually bitter or sweet.
So, I want to feel diverse seasons for my whole life.
>> So, I want to be able to experience diverse seasons all my life.
Then let\'s say I live somewhere else for just one year this time.
>> Let\'s say I live somewhere else for once.
If that\'s the case, I want to live in a place with little change in temperature.
>> If that\'s the case, I want to live in a place with not much change in temperature.
For example, places like Alaska.
>> For example, Alaska.
Places that are uniformly cold.
>> CORRECT
Because I\'m really affected by the weather, and I wonder how my life will change if the factors that greatly influence me remain constant.
>> CORRECT
OR >> Because I\'m remarkably affected by the weather, and so I wonder how my life will change if the factors that greatly influence me remain constant.
What would my year be like if I lived in a constant cold that I couldn\'t feel the difference in the weight of the subtle air?
>> What would my year be like if I lived in constant cold wherein I couldn\'t feel the difference in the weight of the subtle air?
I wondered if I could find a variety of things that have a new effect on me other than the weather.
>> I wondered if I could find a variety of things that would affect me other than the weather.
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