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2014-11-18 · 첨삭 강사 Kelly

학생이 쓴 원문

I want to meet famous start of Jun Ji hyun because she is my favorite actress. I saw drama about she appeared in a TV series. That was very funny and she is very beautiful. Also, I wonder that she maintain baby face way and actress’s life. I have not met actor and actress yet so I want to see closely. Also, I will buy the digital camera and then I will take a picture anything. I often took a picture about traveling, daily life, my friends, and birthdays. I like that. I will leave remembrance for a month with my family and my friends through digital camera. There are many photo albums in my bookcase. I like to collect photo and I always have wanted to fill albums so I will take many pictures. I will go shopping with my older sister. We adore shopping so we are often severely scolded by our mother because we have already many clothes but we always said nothing much clothes. We overflow with clothes. However we always buy new clothes. I think this method is to reduce our stress.

강사 첨삭

Hello Bea! Thank you for sending this in. Anyway, please check my corrections. Have a nice day!~Kelly^^ I want to meet famous start of Jun Ji hyun because she is my favorite actress. >> I want to meet Jun Ji hyun because she is my favorite actress. I saw drama about she appeared in a TV series. >> I saw a TV drama where she appeared. That was very funny and she is very beautiful. >> It was very funny and she is very beautiful. Also, I wonder that she maintain baby face way and actress’s life. >> Also, I wonder how she maintains her baby face and how she handles her life as an actress. I have not met actor and actress yet so I want to see closely. >> I haven\'t met any actor and actress so I want to meet her personally. Also, I will buy the digital camera and then I will take a picture anything. >> I will buy a digital camera and then I will take a picture of anything. I often took a picture about traveling, daily life, my friends, and birthdays. >> I often take pictures picture when traveling, my daily activities, my friends, and on birthdays. I like that. >> Correct. I will leave remembrance for a month with my family and my friends through digital camera. >> I am going to create good memories with my fmaily and friends by taking pictures. There are many photo albums in my bookcase. >> Correct. I like to collect photo and I always have wanted to fill albums so I will take many pictures. >> I like to collect photos and I have always wanted to fill my photo albums so I will take many pictures. I will go shopping with my older sister. >> Correct. We adore shopping so we are often severely scolded by our mother because we have already many clothes but we always said nothing much clothes. >> We adore shopping so we are often severely scolded by our mother because we have already many clothes but we always think that we don\'t have many clothes. We overflow with clothes. >> Our closet is overflowing with clothes. However we always buy new clothes. >> Correct. I think this method is to reduce our stress. >> I think this method is a way to reduce our stress.

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