Could I ask to correct my composition?

1.I was very angry at that time, but I pretended as if I was cool as a cucumber. 2.I got a new job. 3.How about the new job? 4.It's good so far. All of co-workers are friendly. 5.On saturday I met my friend in a long time. 6.And of sunday I went to church in nearly 4 months. 7.We went to the cafe and ate some cake. We had a chat for a long time. 8.I'm sorry about working today. 9.I heard that this pharmacy is too busy in monday. So I'm a litter nervous. 10.I'm still missing my family. But I'm getting better. 11.You must have realized that you were good at painting pictures. 12.You must have told me that you hated to go there. 13.I realized yet again how precious my family is. 14.I intend to pursue my plan to study English for 1 hour everday. 15.Thankfully, my boss suggested pay raise to me first. 16.Money is of course important in life. But it's not the most important thing. 17.We should keep this phrase in mind. 18.Money is just a means, not a goal.

Hi Ms. [이름]! Great job in this composition! ^^ Please review my corrections below. Have a great evening and enjoy the weekend! CIAO! ~Teacher Marie~ 1.I was very angry at that time, but I pretended as if I was cool as a cucumber. >> CORRECT2.I got a new job. >> CORRECT3.How about the new job? >> How was your new job?4.It\'s good so far. All of co-workers are friendly. >> All of my coworkers are friendly.5.On saturday I met my friend in a long time. >> Last Saturday, I met my friend whom I haven\'t seen in a long time.6.And of sunday I went to church in nearly 4 months.>> And on Sunday, I went to church for the first time in nearly four months. *Capitalize Saturday and Sunday. ^^ 7.We went to the cafe and ate some cake. We had a chat for a long time.>> We talked for a long time. *A chat is usually short. So if it\'s a LONG time, you can use \'talk\'. ^^ 8.I\'m sorry about working today.>> I feel sorry about working today. 9.I heard that this pharmacy is too busy in monday. So I\'m a litter nervous.>> I heard that this pharmacy is busy on Mondays so I\'m a little nervous. 10.I\'m still missing my family. But I\'m getting better.>> CORRECT OR >> But I\'m feeling better everyday. 11.You must have realized that you were good at painting pictures.>> CORRECT 12.You must have told me that you hated to go there.>> You should have told me that you hated going there. 13.I realized yet again how precious my family is.>> CORRECT 14.I intend to pursue my plan to study English for 1 hour everyday.>> CORRECT 15.Thankfully, my boss suggested pay raise to me first.>> Luckily, my boss suggested to give me a raise first. 16.Money is of course important in life. But it\'s not the most important thing.>> CORRECT 17.We should keep this phrase in mind.>> CORRECT 18.Money is just a means, not a goal. >> CORRECT *Excellent sentence. I agree. ^^