Could you check it please?
학생이 쓴 원문
How have you been?
It is my pleasure to let you know good news to your organization while COMWEL has been searching for the MOU follow-up programs between COMWEL and BPJS. As you know, even though COMWEL has a variety of Workers’ Compensation Insurance (WCI) contents, tight budget of International Cooperation makes us hard to support follow- up businesses. As an alternative way of maximizing effectiveness, we cooperate with other partners in Korea for international work. I believe that it will be a good opportunity to work with Korea Association of Network Industries (KANI) for carrying forward supporting BPJS’ medical IT system. KANI is a non-profit organization consisting of industry, academic world, and research institute. It aims at regional and international supports for the establishment of sustainable communication and exchange the information among members. The goal of the project designs for building ‘Pilot system of medicine information management system’.
강사 첨삭
How have you been?
>>CORRECT
It is my pleasure to let you know good news to your organization while COMWEL has been searching for the MOU follow-up programs between COMWEL and BPJS.
>>It is my pleasure to let you know the good news to your organization while COMWEL has been searching for the MOU follow-up programs between COMWEL and BPJS.
As you know, even though COMWEL has a variety of Workers’ Compensation Insurance (WCI) contents, tight budget of International Cooperation makes us hard to support follow- up businesses.
>> As you know, even though COMWEL has a variety of Workers\' Compensation Insurance (WCI) contents, the tight budget of the International Cooperation makes us hard to support and follow- up the said businesses.
As an alternative way of maximizing effectiveness, we cooperate with other partners in Korea for international work. I believe that it will be a good opportunity to work with Korea Association of Network Industries (KANI) for carrying forward supporting BPJS’ medical IT system.
>>CORRECT
KANI is a non-profit organization consisting of industry, academic world, and research institute.
>>CORRECT
It aims at regional and international supports for the establishment of sustainable communication and exchange the information among members.
>>It aims at the regional and international supports for the establishment of sustainable communication and exchange of information among its members.
The goal of the project designs for building ‘Pilot system of medicine information management system’.
>>The goal of the project designs is to build a ‘Pilot system of medicine information management system’.
>>CORRECT
It is my pleasure to let you know good news to your organization while COMWEL has been searching for the MOU follow-up programs between COMWEL and BPJS.
>>It is my pleasure to let you know the good news to your organization while COMWEL has been searching for the MOU follow-up programs between COMWEL and BPJS.
As you know, even though COMWEL has a variety of Workers’ Compensation Insurance (WCI) contents, tight budget of International Cooperation makes us hard to support follow- up businesses.
>> As you know, even though COMWEL has a variety of Workers\' Compensation Insurance (WCI) contents, the tight budget of the International Cooperation makes us hard to support and follow- up the said businesses.
As an alternative way of maximizing effectiveness, we cooperate with other partners in Korea for international work. I believe that it will be a good opportunity to work with Korea Association of Network Industries (KANI) for carrying forward supporting BPJS’ medical IT system.
>>CORRECT
KANI is a non-profit organization consisting of industry, academic world, and research institute.
>>CORRECT
It aims at regional and international supports for the establishment of sustainable communication and exchange the information among members.
>>It aims at the regional and international supports for the establishment of sustainable communication and exchange of information among its members.
The goal of the project designs for building ‘Pilot system of medicine information management system’.
>>The goal of the project designs is to build a ‘Pilot system of medicine information management system’.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.