Could you check my writing?
학생이 쓴 원문
The bar chart describes the gender distribution of teachers in 6 types of UK educational institutes in 2010. The vertical axis indicates a percentage of the whole, and the horizontal axis shows the place.
In three of six institutes, females outnumbered than males. Female teachers made up a large proportion of the schools for young pupils: pre-school and primary school, where the gender gap was about 9 times as many female tutors as male ones.
Men and women were equally represented in secondary school, college, and private institute.
In secondary school, there were nearly as many women(approximately 45%) as men(about 55%) and vice versa in private institute. Otherwise, there was the same proportion in college, and university was the only place where males showed the large proportion roughly 70% men vs. 30% women.
Overall, in 2010, the predominant women teachers had a tendency of teaching young students while most of the males tended to give class for grown-up pupils in the UK.
강사 첨삭
Hello [이름]!
So this information is about gender of teachers and the students they teach. Your discussion was very clear and accurate. It is systematic and easily grasped by the reader just as I did.
Thank you for obliging to do the homework. I hope to see you again in time!
Take care!
-T. Donna =)
>> Correct!
In three of six institutes, females outnumbered than males. Female teachers made up a large proportion of the schools for young pupils: pre-school and primary school, where the gender gap was about 9 times as many female tutors as male ones.
>> In three of six institutes, females outnumbered the males. Female teachers made up a large proportion of the schools for young pupils: pre-school and primary school, where the gender gap was about 9 times as many female tutors as the male ones.
Men and women were equally represented in secondary school, college, and private institute.
>> Men and women were equally represented in the secondary school, college, and private institutes.
In secondary school, there were nearly as many women(approximately 45%) as men(about 55%) and vice versa in private institute. Otherwise, there was the same proportion in college, and university was the only place where males showed the large proportion roughly 70% men vs. 30% women.
>> In secondary schools, there were nearly as many women (approximately 45%) as men (about 55%) and vice versa in private institutes. Otherwise, there was the same proportion in college, and the university was the only place where males showed the large proportion roughly 70% men vs. 30% women.
Overall, in 2010, the predominant women teachers had a tendency of teaching young students while most of the males tended to give class for grown-up pupils in the UK.
>> Correct!
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