d
학생이 쓴 원문
I disagree with this opinion. Jobs have their roles and duties and I think the responsibilities of doctors don\'t include educations. The most important mission of doctors is cure the people. Ofcoursly, doctor can talk to patient about how to improve health. However, they are not teacher and it has to finished the level of advise. There are too many works to doctors if they should educate the patients. Also, we can easily find the way to our health from the Internet. We should take care of ourself first and then, we are about to take to help doctors.
강사 첨삭
Hi Jay!
The ideas were carefully considered here.
I love the points you made.
Just be careful of sentence patterns and word choice.
Take note of the corrections below.^^
~~ Teacher Sharon
I disagree with this opinion.
>> Correct
Jobs have their roles and duties and I think the responsibilities of doctors don\'t include educations.
>> People with different jobs have their own roles and duties and I think the responsibilities of doctors don\'t include education.
The most important mission of doctors is cure the people.
>> The most important mission of doctors is to cure people.
Ofcoursly, doctor can talk to patient about how to improve health.
>> Of course, doctors can talk to patients about how to improve health.
However, they are not teacher and it has to finished the level of advise.
>> However, they are not teachers and it has to end with their advice.
There are too many works to doctors if they should educate the patients.
>> Doctors would have too much work if they would have to educate the patients.
Also, we can easily find the way to our health from the Internet.
>> Also, we can easily find ways to maintain good health from the Internet.
We should take care of ourself first and then, we are about to take to help doctors.
>> We should take care of ourselves first and then, we can ask help from doctors.
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