davinci

2011-02-18 · 첨삭 강사 RJ

학생이 쓴 원문

Today, I went to a museum which had art and many other great things from davinci. Also, I went to a war museum too! Especially the 2nd Yeon Proung fight, 6 Korean soldiers had died. They weren't afraid. They were brave. Even after 58 days, the person who moves the ship was gripping the steer wheel in a same act. Also, other people who died, some also gripped guns or other things. out of 29 people 6 had died. 5 had died immediately, 1 had died after 84 days of fight from his injury

강사 첨삭

Hello Joey,
It seems like you are going to a lot of museums and historical places nowadays. Talk to you later.
-RJ
Today, I went to a museum which had art and many other great things from davinci. 
>>Today, I went to a museum which had art and many other great works from Da Vinci. 
Also, I went to a war museum too! 
>>I also went to a war museum.
Especially the 2nd Yeon Proung fight, 6 Korean soldiers had died. 
>>Especially the 2nd Yeon Pyeong fight, 6 Korean soldiers had died. 
They weren't afraid. They were brave. 
>>correct
Even after 58 days, the person who moves the ship was gripping the steer wheel in a same act. 
>>Even after 58 days, the person who was steering the ship was in the same manner. 
Also, other people who died, some also gripped guns or other things. 
>>The other people who died also gripped guns or other things.
out of 29 people 6 had died. 5 had died immediately, 1 had died after 84 days of fight from his injury
>>Out of 29 people, 6 had died. 5 had died immediately, while1 died after 84 days because of his injury from the fight.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

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