Day1_facing challenges

2020-12-29 · 첨삭 강사 Fiona

학생이 쓴 원문

Q. Some people think that facing challenges improves a person. Do you agree or disagree? I agree today’s topic. Because I experienced it firsthand. Of course there are so many ways to improve person. Nevertheless facing challenges improves a person is clear. I can tell the story that my experience. When I first learned English. I was nervous and scared that I am not good at English. Therefore, I had a tinge of English even thought I want good at English. One day, I saw a video which is “How can I be good at English?”. The speaker in the video said that speaking is very important. First I heard that, I though I cannot. Because that is biggest challenge for me. But I really wanted good at English. So I was facing speaking. Now, I do not have nervous when speaking English and my skills have improved more than before.

강사 첨삭

Good evening [이름]^^ 
Thank you very much for doing your first homework. 
I appreciate your effort! Good job^^ 

I agree today’s topic. 
>>> I agree with today\'s topic.
Because I experienced it firsthand. 
>>> CORRECT! 
Of course there are so many ways to improve person. 
>>> Of course, there are many ways to improve people.
Nevertheless facing challenges improves a person is clear. 
>>> CORRECT!
OR: Nevertheless, it is clear that facing challenges will improve people.
I can tell the story that my experience. 
>>> I can share an experience I had. 
When I first learned English. 
>>> CORRECT! 
I was nervous and scared that I am not good at English. 
>>> CORRECT! 
Therefore, I had a tinge of English even thought I want good at English. 
>>> So, I felt a tinge that I even thought I wanted to be good at English.
One day, I saw a video which is “How can I be good at English?”. 
>>> CORRECT! 
OR: One day, I watched a video called \"How can I be good at English?\"
The speaker in the video said that speaking is very important.
>>> CORRECT! 
First I heard that, I though I cannot. 
>>> It was my first time to hear about it and I thought of it. 
Because that is biggest challenge for me. 
>>> Because it is the biggest challenge for me.
But I really wanted good at English. 
>>> But I wanted to be good at English.
So I was facing speaking. 
>>> So I faced what I was saying.
Now, I do not have nervous when speaking English and my skills have improved more than before.
>>> Now, I\'m not nervous when speaking English and I\'m doing much better than before.

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