Dear [Name]
학생이 쓴 원문
Speaking of children obesity, I was very thin when I was young. So, my mom used to worry about my health. That's why almost every food she cooked was made of meat. You might think from then on, I became obese but, my weight didn't change a bit. Now I assume that's because I used up all the energy I ate by doing so many outdoor activities with my friends when I was skinny. However, as I'm getting older, my life, eating style have been changed gradually, doctors advised me not to eat too much protein. When I meet my old friends by chance on the street, they are all surprised at my appearance. Not just they but I had never thought I had become fat. Don't worry too much, Chelsea. I began working out regularly again a few month ago. After finishing my work, I ride a bike. Once a week, I also enjoy playing badminton with my girlfriend. Now I'm getting healthy again.
Catch you later. Written by [이름].
강사 첨삭
Good evening, [이름]! It\'s a relief to know that you are doing something about your health. I know it is difficult. But now, more than ever, we need to stay fit. We should be strong enough to fight aging..^^I was just kidding..This is one well-written essay...
Talk to you tomorrow..
T. Chelsea
Speaking of children obesity, I was very thin when I was young. So, my mom used to worry about my health. That\'s why almost every food she cooked was made of meat. You might think from then on, I became obese but, my weight didn\'t change a bit.
>> Correct!
Now I assume that\'s because I used up all the energy I¡¡ate by doing so many outdoor activities with my friends when I was skinny.
>>Now, I assume that\'s because I used up all the energy I got by doing so many outdoor activities with my friends when I was skinny.
However, as I\'m¡¡getting older, my life, eating style have been changed gradually, doctors advised me not to eat too much protein.
>> However, as I\'m getting older, my life, my eating habit and diet has changed gradually, doctors advised me not to eat too much protein.
When I meet my old friends by chance on the street, they are all surprised at my appearance.
>> Correct!
Not just they but I had never thought I had become fat.
>>Not just they but I had never thought I would become fat.
Don\'t worry too much, Chelsea. I began working out regularly again a few month ago.
>>Don\'t worry too much, Chelsea. I began working out regularly again a few months ago.
After finishing my work, I ride a bike.
>> Correct!
Once a week, I¡¡also enjoy playing badminton with my girlfriend. Now I\'m getting healthy again.
>>Once a week, I also enjoy playing badminton with my girlfriend. Now I\'m getting healthy again. Catch you later. Written by [이름].
>> Correct!
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