Decision I made
학생이 쓴 원문
I was born in 1996 and we call that year as \"Baby boom year\", because many babies were born in from 1995 to 1996. There have been several problems because of it like military service. It was 4 years ago, and I was 2nd grade in my University and I was 21. It is common to go to the army at 21 years old, and of course I applied for the army. But there were so many people who applied for the army at that year and it was really difficult to go to the army ironically. Even though, I wasn\'t accepted from the army, I had to take a time off from the University. It was the most difficult decision for me, because I didn\'t know what would happen and I even didn\'t know if I could go to the army or just waste my time. Fortunately, I was accepted to go to the army on may, 2016.
강사 첨삭
1. I was born in 1996 and we call that year as \"Baby boom year\", because many babies were born in from 1995 to 1996.
>>I was born in 1996 and we call that year as \"Baby boom year\", because many babies were born from 1995 to 1996.
2. There have been several problems because of it like military service.
>>There had been several problems because of it like military service.
3. It was 4 years ago, and I was 2nd grade in my University and I was 21.
>>It was 4 years ago, and I was 2nd grade in my university and I was 21.
4. It is common to go to the army at 21 years old, and of course I applied for the army.
>>CORRECT
OR>>It is common to go to the army at 21 years old, and obviously, I applied for the army.
5. But there were so many people who applied for the army at that year and it was really difficult to go to the army ironically.
>>But there were so many people who applied for the army that year and it was really difficult to go to the army ironically.
6. Even though, I wasn\'t accepted from the army, I had to take a time off from the University.
>>CORRECT
OR>>Even though, I wasn\'t accepted from the army, I needed to take a time off from the university.
7. It was the most difficult decision for me, because I didn\'t know what would happen and I even didn\'t know if I could go to the army or just waste my time.
>> It was the most difficult decision for me, because I didn\'t know what would happen to me and I even didn\'t know if I could go to the army or just waste my time.
8. Fortunately, I was accepted to go to the army on may, 2016.
>>Fortunately, I was accepted in the army on May 2016.
Very good sentences.
- T. Melody ^^
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