Dependence on the Internet and phone.

2020-03-25 · 첨삭 강사 Jedah

학생이 쓴 원문

It is true that a growing number of people are being dependent on the Internet and phones in almost every aspect of their lives. While it is undeniable that the individualized online accessibility provides people with lots of conveniences, thanks to state-of-the-art technologies, the repercussions of this handiness should be mooted in a broader sense. On the one hand, the all-time connection to the Internet leads us to enjoy more free time as daily tasks can be done quickly with a few clicks on smartphones, reducing redundant works required in the past. On the other hand, despite there is much more free time than before, people tend not to disconnect themselves from the Internet at any given moment. Activities that are able to enhance their physical health or psychological condition are easily abandoned even when they actually need some. All in all, wisely utilizing the convenience given by the Internet is crucial, otherwise people will end up finding themselves serve for technologies.

강사 첨삭

Hi Drexel! Thank you for spending a little of your time with your homework. I really appreciate the effort!
WOW! Excellent! No flaw and no slips. Well composed homework. Keep it up! ^ ^
I totally agree with you! We are not to be enslaved by technology but rather allowing technology to serve as the way we have designed them to be! ^ ^
-Teacher Jedah

It is true that a growing number of people are being dependent on the Internet and phones in almost every aspect of their lives. 
>>CORRECT
While it is undeniable that the individualized online accessibility provides people with lots of conveniences, thanks to state-of-the-art technologies, the repercussions of this handiness should be mooted in a broader sense. 
>>CORRECT
On the one hand, the all-time connection to the Internet leads us to enjoy more free time as daily tasks can be done quickly with a few clicks on smartphones, reducing redundant works required in the past. 
>>CORRECT
On the other hand, despite there is much more free time than before, people tend not to disconnect themselves from the Internet at any given moment. 
>>CORRECT
Activities that are able to enhance their physical health or psychological condition are easily abandoned even when they actually need some. 
>>CORRECT
All in all, wisely utilizing the convenience given by the Internet is crucial, otherwise people will end up finding themselves serve for technologies.
>>CORRECT

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