Describe a famous person you admire.
학생이 쓴 원문
I admire a Japanese baseball player Shohei Ohtani a lot.
Many people say that extraverted person can have a good performance in sports industry because communication skill is important in that industry. So most famous sports stars are extroverted people.
However, even though Ohtani is an introverted asian person, he became one of the best baseball players all over the world.
He can\'t speak English well and don\'t do outdoor activities with his colleagues in MLB league, but he always shows the best performance to us.
What is the secret of him?
The thing is he is the man who makes fortune for himself.
He always has a good manner to everyone including enemies and judges he meet in the field.
It makes him a humble and reliable person.
He also shows a steady effort and thinks positively.
That’s why I think he’s the coolest sports star in the world, and he truly inspires me to stay humble and work hard no matter what.
강사 첨삭
Hi [이름]!
Thank you for your composition today.
Please take note of the suggestions below.
You have expressed yourself very well.
Keep it up.^^
~~Teacher Sharon
I admire a Japanese baseball player Shohei Ohtani a lot.
>> I admire a Japanese baseball player named Shohei Ohtani a lot.
Many people say that extraverted person can have a good performance in sports industry because communication skill is important in that industry. >> Many people say that an extroverted person can perform well in the sports industry because communication skills are important in that field.
So most famous sports stars are extroverted people.
>> So, most famous sports stars are extroverted people.
However, even though Ohtani is an introverted asian person, he became one of the best baseball players all over the world.
However, even though Ohtani is an introverted asian person, he became one of the best baseball players all over the world.
>> However, even though Ohtani is an introverted Asian person, he has become one of the best baseball players in the world.
He can\'t speak English well and don\'t do outdoor activities with his colleagues in MLB league, but he always shows the best performance to us.
He can\'t speak English well and don\'t do outdoor activities with his colleagues in MLB league, but he always shows the best performance to us.
>> He can\'t speak English well and doesn’t usually do outdoor activities with his colleagues in the MLB, but he always gives his best performance.
What is the secret of him?
What is the secret of him?
>> What is his secret?
The thing is he is the man who makes fortune for himself.
>> The truth is, he is a man who creates his own fortune.
He always has a good manner to everyone including enemies and judges he meet in the field.
He always has a good manner to everyone including enemies and judges he meet in the field.
>> He always shows good manners to everyone, including his opponents and the judges he meets on the field.
It makes him a humble and reliable person.
It makes him a humble and reliable person.
>> Correct
He also shows a steady effort and thinks positively.
He also shows a steady effort and thinks positively.
>> He also shows steady effort and thinks positively.
That’s why I think he’s the coolest sports star in the world, and he truly inspires me to stay humble and work hard no matter what.
That’s why I think he’s the coolest sports star in the world, and he truly inspires me to stay humble and work hard no matter what.
>> Correct
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