Describe a person who I have never met.

2018-12-12 · 첨삭 강사 Dee

학생이 쓴 원문

I will describe about a person who I have never met but I want to meet. The person is a Korean tennis player named ‘Jeong-Hyun’. I saw him for the first time was an Australian championship last year. He won a game against Djokovic who was the one of the top tennis players in the world. After that game, he became a well-known celebrity among tennis players. Moreover, Jeong-hyun influenced on many people to be interested in tennis including me. The reasons why I want to meet him is that he is the icon of patience and effort. It means that even thought he had a serious injury during the big match, he tried to finish the game and got a good result. Also, he overcame his physical disadvantages as an Asian. I had a big impression of him and I hope he would be a top tennis player in the future. That is why the person who I want to meet is Jeong-hyun.

강사 첨삭

Hi Jin! Thank you for sending me your answer to the question posted for you. I enjoyed reading your work. I learned a lot about the person you were trying to describe. I think that he is truly inspirational. I made very little corrections on your work and check them below. One suggestion I like to make is for you to add some of your personal details in the answer to support it. Include relatable facts like the fact that you also play and enjoy tennis. Or that you are Korean like him. In that way, you area able to share more and talk more.~~T. Dee

    

I will describe about a person who I have never met but I want to meet.

>>I will talk about a person whom I have never met but I want to meet.

The person is a Korean tennis player named ‘Jeong-Hyun’.
>>This person is a Korean tennis player named ‘Jeong-Hyun’.

I saw him for the first time was an Australian championship last year.

>>I saw him for the first time in an Australian championship game last year.

He won a game against Djokovic who is one of the top tennis players in the world.

>>He won a game against Djokovic who was the one of the top tennis players in the world.

After that game, he became a well-known celebrity among tennis players.

>>After that game, he became a well-known celebrity among tennis players.

Moreover, Jeong-hyun influenced on many people to be interested in tennis including me.

>>Moreover, Jeong-hyun inspired many people to be interested in tennis, including me. 

The reasons why I want to meet him is that he is the icon of patience and effort. 
>>The reasons why I want to meet him is because he is for me the icon of patience and determination.

It means that even thought he had a serious injury during the big match, he tried to finish the game and got a good result.

>>I say this because although he had a serious injury during the big match, he tried to finish the game and still got a good result.

Also, he overcame his physical disadvantages as an Asian.

>>Also, his physical disadvantages as an Asian did not stop him to beat his opponent.

I had a great impression of him and I hope he would be a top tennis player in the future. 
>>I had a big impression of him and I hope he would be a top tennis player in the future.

That is why the person who I want to meet is Jeong-hyun.  
>>This is why the person who I want to meet is Jeong-hyun.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

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