Describe a place you will never forget? and why ?

2020-04-16 · 첨삭 강사 Tricia

학생이 쓴 원문

Dear [Name], When I was child about 10 years old, I lived a farming area. There was no building and factory near by my house. So I could swim in the stream by my house. I could drink any water near spring. We took care of some cows and hens, sheeps, pigs. I was very happy to see them. When I wake up in the morning, I went to find egg in hen\'s house. That was very joyful for me. We have everything of convenience now But I have no joy to feel the nature. My son play game and he watch movie on TV easily. Eating ready made food. I miss my child time.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]! :)

I appreciate your effort in writing a composition.
Have a wonderful day. :)

- Tricia

Dear [Name],

When I was child about 10 years old, I lived a farming area.
>> When I was a child about 10 years old, I lived in a farming area.

There was no building and factory near by my house.
>> There was no building and factory near my house.

So I could swim in the stream by my house.
>> So, I could swim in the stream by my house.

I could drink any water near spring.
>> I could drink any water near the spring.

We took care of some cows and hens, sheeps, pigs.
>> We took care of some cows, hens, sheep, and pigs.

I was very happy to see them.
>> CORRECT!

When I wake up in the morning, I went to find egg in hen\'s house.
>> When I wake up in the morning, I go to find eggs in the hen\'s house.

That was very joyful for me.
>> Those were very joyful experiences for me.

We have everything of convenience now
>> We have the convenience of everything now.

But I have no joy to feel the nature.
>> But I can\'t feel the happiness that nature gives.

My son play game and he watch movie on TV easily.
>> My son plays games and watches movie on TV anytime.

Eating ready made food.
>> He also eats ready-made food.

I miss my child time.
>> I miss my childhood days.

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