Describe an exciting experience in your life.

2020-02-28 · 첨삭 강사 James

학생이 쓴 원문

Describe an exciting experience in your life. when the experience took place where the experience took place what happened exactly and explain why the experience was so exciting. Last year, I visited the US, expecially Yosemte national park in California. I can tell you it was a terrific experience that I have ! I joined a tour program with well-planned itinerary, which is guided by Korean granfa who has been living in San francisco for a long time. Since his knowledge about Yosemete park and photogrphic skill, we could go some scenary spots and take a lot of pics in there. And Also, the one of the most I could not forget in there was to eat ramen, kimchi and kimbap that made by his wife. It tastes really amazing and I will never forget it. Furthermore, beautiful spots, such as huge waterfalls, steep rockformation, half domes.. when I saw those natural things, I was totally overwhelmed by seeing them. And I felt that human is a only tiny creature in this wonderful nature.

강사 첨삭

Hello [이름]. Thank you for this.  You should stay healthy. I hope everything will be back to normal soon. 
T. James
Last year, I visited the US, expecially Yosemte national park in California. 
>>> Last year, I visited the US, especially Yosemite national park in California. 
I can tell you it was a terrific experience that I have ! I joined a tour program with well-planned itinerary, which is guided by Korean granfa who has been living in San francisco for a long time. 
>>>I can tell you it was a terrific experience that I have! I joined a tour program with a well-planned itinerary, which is guided by Korean grandpa who has been living in San Francisco for a long time. 
Since his knowledge about Yosemete park and photogrphic skill, we could go some scenary spots and take a lot of pics in there. 
>>> Since his knowledge about Yosemite park and photographic skill, we could go to some scenic spots and take a lot of pics in there. 
And Also, the one of the most I could not forget in there was to eat ramen, kimchi and kimbap that made by his wife. 
>>> And Also, one of the most I could not forget in there was to eat ramen, kimchi, and kimbap that made by his wife. 
It tastes really amazing and I will never forget it. 
>>> CORRECT
Furthermore, beautiful spots, such as huge waterfalls, steep rockformation, half domes.. 
>>> Furthermore, beautiful spots, such as huge waterfalls, steep rock formations, half domes.. 
when I saw those natural things, I was totally overwhelmed by seeing them. 
>>> CORRECT
And I felt that human is a only tiny creature in this wonderful nature.
>>> And I felt that human is an only tiny creature in this wonderful nature.

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