Describe the last concert that you went to

2024-03-07 · 첨삭 강사 Kristine

학생이 쓴 원문

Korean cities hold various festivals to suit each city\'s characteristics every year. The city I live in has a very old temporary palace and fortress that are registered as UNESCO World Heritage Sites. The temporary palace and fortress are always crowded with many domestic and foreign tourists. Every November, my city holds various cultural events such as plays, exhibitions, parades every november and on the evening of the last day of November, my city\'s orchestra and choir jointly hold a concert on the large lawn in front of the fortress. I watched the concert with my parents and two daughters last November, and I can\'t forget the touching melody played by the orchestra, the fortress shining in the colorful lights and the crowd. And I feel good because I think I gave wonderful memories to my parents from far away.

강사 첨삭

Happy Thursday, [이름]! 

Enjoy your day and see you in class tomorrow! 

- Kristine ^^ 

Korean cities hold various festivals to suit each city\'s characteristics every year.
>> Correct.
The city I live in has a very old temporary palace and fortress that are registered as UNESCO World Heritage Sites.
>> Correct. 
Or >> A very old temporary palace and fortress in the city where I live are recognized as UNESCO World Heritage Sites.
The temporary palace and fortress are always crowded with many domestic and foreign tourists.
>> Correct. 
Every November, my city holds various cultural events such as plays, exhibitions, parades every november and on the evening of the last day of November, my city\'s orchestra and choir jointly hold a concert on the large lawn in front of the fortress.
>> Every November, my city holds various cultural events such as plays, exhibitions, and parades.
>> The orchestra and choir of my city collaborate to perform a concert on the vast lawn in front of the fortress on the evening of the last day of November.  
I watched the concert with my parents and two daughters last November, and I can\'t forget the touching melody played by the orchestra, the fortress shining in the colorful lights and the crowd.
>> I watched the concert with my parents and two daughters last November, and I can\'t forget the touching melody played by the orchestra, the fortress shining in the colorful lights, and the crowd.
And I feel good because I think I gave wonderful memories to my parents from far away.
>> And it makes me happy to think that I brought my parents beautiful memories.

파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.

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