Diary190906
학생이 쓴 원문
I was absent for last four days due to my dad\'s sudden hospitalization. He had a surgery of cardio vessel dilation. Several vessels around his heart got a lot narrowed because his overweight and bad dietary habit. It was quite a shock for my family, but it\'s glad to find his vessel problem and fix it. I kept suggesting on his diet and working out but he\'s been so negligent and even upset whenever my mom and I talk about it. But now I believe he changes his mind and starts regular exercise.
I will try to join exercise with my parents too. I always work out like jogging and weight lifting at home everyday so from today I\'m going to encourage him to lose weight and improve his health.
The biggest barrier is TV! as far as I concern. haha. because both my parents are couch potato. They love watching TV drama and shows.
OMG. Isn\'t it the other way around usually in other families? Parents always scold their children watching TV. In my home, the one who scold is me. haha.
강사 첨삭
Hi there!
I really hope that your parents get well completely.
Exercising is the hardest thing to do especially if they are not use to it.
But eventually, they will find themselves exercising for their health. \\
Happy Monday.
Here are my corrections.
I was absent for last four days due to my dad\'s sudden hospitalization. He had a surgery of cardio vessel dilation.
>>I was absent for the last four days due to my dad\'s sudden hospitalization. He had a surgery of cardio vessel dilation.
Several vessels around his heart got a lot narrowed because his overweight and bad dietary habit. It was quite a shock for my family, but it\'s glad to find his vessel problem and fix it.
>>Several vessels around his heart got narrowed because he\'s overweight and had a bad dietary habit. It was quite a shock for my family, but we\'re glad to find his vessel problem and fix it.
I kept suggesting on his diet and working out but he\'s been so negligent and even upset whenever my mom and I talk about it. But now I believe he changes his mind and starts regular exercise.
>>I kept suggesting on his diet and working out but he\'s been so negligent and even upset whenever my mom and I talk about it. But now, I believe he changes his mind and starts a regular exercise.
I will try to join exercise with my parents too. I always work out like jogging and weight lifting at home everyday so from today I\'m going to encourage him to lose weight and improve his health.
>>I will try to join exercise with my parents, too. I always work out like jogging and weight lifting at home everyday so, from today, I\'m going to encourage him to lose weight and improve his health.
The biggest barrier is TV! as far as I concern. haha. because both my parents are couch potato. They love watching TV drama and shows.
>>The biggest barrier is TV, as far as I concern. Haha. Both of my parents are couch potatoes. They love watching TV dramas and shows.
OMG. Isn\'t it the other way around usually in other families? Parents always scold their children watching TV. In my home, the one who scold is me. haha.
>>OMG! Isn\'t it the other way around usually in other families? Parents always scold their children watching TV. In my home, the one who scolds is me. Haha.
파워잉글리쉬 영어첨삭교정 서비스에 실제로 접수된 글입니다. 작성자와 글에 등장하는 사람·회사 이름, 연락처 등 개인을 알아볼 수 있는 정보는 모두 지웠습니다. 문법 오류는 학습 자료로서의 가치를 위해 원문 그대로 두었습니다.