Do multicultural policies strengthen a country, or can they sometimes weaken national identity?

2026-03-13 · 첨삭 강사 Beth

학생이 쓴 원문

Many people say embracing other cultures fosters diversity. Now many countries are coming up with multicultural policies. For example, London has long history of integrating multiculturalism into society. During Ramadan and Lunar New Year, there are banners celebrating the holidays. Additionally, under the “Culture for All Londoner” strategy, the city supports diverse creative workforce and protect community space. These policies bear positive results in many cities as they alleviate conflicts stemming from different cultures and terminate anti-discrimination. However, excessive strategies sometimes end up with negative consequences. Speaking of London, the current mayor is concentrating funding on specific ethnic groups. Biased approaches are highly criticized for creating parallel communities than integrating those ethnicities into London. Overreaching measures create a feeling of cultural displacement and animosity toward certain religious groups.

강사 첨삭

Thank you for this as well, Aciel!

Many people say embracing other cultures fosters diversity. 
>>> correct
Now, many countries are coming up with multicultural policies. 
>>>  correct
>> OR: Today, many countries are implementing multicultural policies. 
For example, London has long history of integrating multiculturalism into society. 
>>> For example, London has a long history of integrating multiculturalism into society.
During Ramadan and Lunar New Year, there are banners celebrating the holidays. 
>>>  correct
Additionally, under the “Culture for All Londoner” strategy, the city supports diverse creative workforce and protects community space. 
>>>  correct
These policies bear positive results in many cities as they alleviate conflicts stemming from different cultures and terminate anti-discrimination. 
>>>  correct
However, excessive strategies sometimes end up with negative consequences. 
>>>  correct
Speaking of London, the current mayor is concentrating funding on specific ethnic groups. 
>>> correct 
Biased approaches are highly criticized for creating parallel communities than integrating those ethnicities into London. 
>>> Such biased approaches are widely criticized for creating parallel communities instead of fully integrating these ethnicities into London society.
Overreaching measures create a feeling of cultural displacement and animosity toward certain religious groups.
>>> correct  

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