Do we have to restrict liquor?

2010-12-01 · 첨삭 강사 Shy

학생이 쓴 원문

It is worth making the prohibition law to reduce alcohol consumotion. However, that must be impossible these day. It could get decreased in amount of the consumption increasing the liquor tax rate. It may go lower as restricting liquor sale. There is more effective ways that is adopting now religion like Islam. It's seams an proverb like 'To burn one´s house to get rid of the mice'. Liquor has two sides, one is the evil side that make us greed and rude person. The other side is good making lot of tax income to help the poverty. People have to control drinking by themselves. Liquor is one of irreplaceable things that men have been invented.

강사 첨삭

Hi [이름]! You have nice ideas. I think that it is good that alcohol consumption should be lessened, It is only not bad for us psychologically but also physically. Thank you and have a great day! Shy   It is worth making the prohibition law to reduce alcohol consumotion. >> It is worth making the prohibition law to reduce alcohol consumption. However, that must be impossible these day. >> However, that may be impossible these days. It could get decreased in amount of the consumption increasing the liquor tax rate. >> But it can be possible if only the government would raise the liquor tax rate. It may go lower as restricting liquor sale. >> It is also a good idea to restrict the sale of liquor. There is more effective ways that is adopting now religion like Islam. >> People can also adapt to the Islamic religion. Liquor has two sides, one is the evil side that make us greed and rude person. >> Liquor has effects in us. It can make us greedy and rude. People have to control drinking by themselves. >> People have to control themselves from drinking Liquor is one of irreplaceable things that men have been invented. >> Liquor is one irreplaceable thing that men invented

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